Welcome to another instalment of my new guest series #MumisBest! #MumisBest is all about the ever-growing SAHM/working mum debate. I really want this series to highlight that there’s no right or wrong way, but whatever works for you and you family. If you’d like to take part do get in touch, I’d love to hear from you! For now I will leave you in the hands of Lisa from Pass the Prosecco…Please!
I jumped at the chance to write this guest post for The Tale of Mummyhood as #MumIsBest is something I feel very passionate about.
When you give birth to a child, however they are born or indeed in some situations come into your life through surrogacy or adoption, you become a mum.
You have a small person who occupies your every waking thought and you love them more than anything else in the world.
When my son was six months old I knew I had to make a decision about when I returned to work; statutory maternity pay was rubbish and we could barely afford to pay our bills. I knew I did not want to return to my former career in IT; the stresses and strains of a corporate lifestyle was not of interest to me; as nice as the pay was my outlook changed as soon as my son was born.
I found work in a local supermarket and thought I would be happy – I was earning good money and working hours that fitted around my husband so we had no issues with childcare.
Unfortunately I was employed on a ‘flexi’ contract and the terms of it didn’t fit well as time progressed. Finding a job that fits around childcare is more of a challenge than childbirth I swear.
But I wasn’t happy; I always thought once I became a mum I would throw my everything into motherhood and being a housewife and my career and job would no longer be important. This wasn’t true for me – I needed stimulation and work gave me that; I didn’t want to stay home all the time, I wanted to go to work and earn some money for my family. I could have gone back to my previous job but extreme stress had destroyed me before and I didn’t want to go there again, I wanted and needed a clean break.
I found a job at a local dental practice working on the reception desk, and loved it straight away. I qualified as a Dental Nurse in 2005 and I loved being back in the health sector. I expected to go back to nursing but I sustained damage in my hands from carpal tunnel syndrome in pregnancy and have been unable to return to dental nursing. I figured it’s probably best not to be trusted with sharp implements when my grip has a mind of its own…
I work roughly 18 hours a week over two days, Monday’s and Tuesday’s. I’m lucky to have my parents living close by and my mum is off the same days I work to look after the wee man. My dad is retired and wants a quiet life bless him – but William and him are like chalk and cheese and have such a wonderful bond.
I enjoy reception and administration work within my job and although I am unsure where my career path ahead lies, I enjoy adult conversation and being called ‘Lisa’ and not just ‘William’s mum’.
I have to work and I’m really lucky to be in the situation I am in, we qualify for no benefits despite our income being fairly rubbish and there is no way we can afford childcare, we wouldn’t even make any money after paying for it. William is 3 in November and the next step for us is preschool, which I’m keen to start but not able to afford currently.
Unfortunately when your child reaches 9 months to a year and maternity leave officially finishes you no longer become ‘mum’ and you have to be tarred with some other god awful title.
Stay at home mum, full time mum, working mum, career mum – you HAVE to be one of them.
I’m a part-time-working full-time mum. I don’t conform and I refuse to – it doesn’t matter if you work 2 hours or 60, when work ends you still have to go home and be mum, and lets face it, even at work you never stop thinking and worrying – it’s a huge juggle.
Hats off to stay at home mums(there was no avoiding the term – sorry) – I could not do it. Being at home is stressful, I will happily admit I can’t hack it. As tough as it is working two days and fitting chores in, being at home all day every day is hard and you mums don’t get enough credit.
So what do I think is best? Personally when I meet another mum I couldn’t give a damn whether she works or not; I couldn’t care less if she wants to work or not, has to work or not.
She’s a mum and mum’s do whatever is best, who are we to judge. We are one big sisterhood after all.
A mum is a mum and whatever she thinks, decides and ultimately does; it is always in her child/children’s best interest.
Hello! I’m Lisa, a 30-something mum of one, wife, undomestic goddess and blog-brains behind Pass the Prosecco… Please.
I love to write and I generally blog about parenting, my mental health issues and food. Expect the good, the bad and the downright ugly!
You can see more from Lisa here: