Welcome to another instalment of my new guest series #MumisBest! #MumisBest is all about the ever-growing SAHM/working mum debate. I really want this series to highlight that there’s no right or wrong way, but whatever works for you and you family. If you’d like to take part do get in touch, I’d love to hear from you! For now I will leave you in the hands of Denver from Denver’s Diary!
Back in my Great Grandma’s life, (when she was a young woman), without question when she had her children, she would be a stay at home mum. That’s how things worked backed then, the women stayed at home raising the babies and the men slaved away at work all day. Progressively, over the years things have changed and luckily, some of us get the option to go back to work OR stay at home (under our own will). For those mums who don’t have a choice and must go to work AND raise children, I think you are magic, it takes real guts to do both! I have been so lucky that I can stay at home with my baby without financial worry, I cannot imagine having to work on top of raising a child. Caring for a baby is a full-time job, never mind having the stress of going to work on top of that as well (seriously, working mums must be superheroes).
That being said, as lucky as I am to spend day after day with my bubba, it can get very, very lonely and repetitive. I moved to Scotland to be with my partner, that means we live 250 miles away from my family, my partner’s family and all our friends. We chose to take the plunge and do this due to my partner’s work, at the time we were child free and it was the leap we had to take to further our relationship. So, as you can imagine, being at home with a baby all day with no help from family or friends can make you feel insane. Especially when you have had no adult interaction or conversation all day. I went through a phase of being jealous of my partner, because he could escape the duties of being a parent and go off to work, talk to likeminded people (even if it is just about work stuff) and not be worrying when the next feed is.
After a while of feeling sorry for myself, I sat and had a think about how hard my partner works to provide for us and how heart wrenching it must feel to not be able to spend time with his baby apart from weekends and booked days off. I honestly wouldn’t change being a stay at home mum for the world. Even though sometimes I feel like screaming (and sometimes I stand outside and do) I get to be here for every milestone, development and lesson my baby learns. If I was to go to work, that is what I would be sacrificing.
I think working mums and stay at home mums get a lot of s**t. If you’re working, you’re being selfish, if you stay at home, you’re being lazy. You can’t win either way. That’s why, all mums whether you’re a stay at home mum or not need to support each other. If we don’t have each other’s backs, then who will? Stay at home mums, you’re amazing. Working mums, you’re amazing. And every mum in between, you’re amazing too.
I’m a Yorkshire girl living in Scotland with my fiancé, baby boy & dog. I love all things old and weird. The purpose of this blog is to document my struggles as a mother and the joy of raising my son, I’m definitely no expert at it and I’m just trying to be the best parent i can be. Hopefully, along the way, i can encourage other mums to support and help each other, to try and figure out this impossible job called ‘parenting’.
You can see more from Denver here: