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Tag: train

Going the Distance – The Diary of a Nervous Traveller

Going the Distance – The Diary of a Nervous Traveller

I’ve spoken about being an anxious person before and I don’t want to flood this platform with mental health posts. However important I think it is to talk about it. Over the past few weeks though I’ve had a bit of a revelation and I wanted to share my success, as someone who previously relied on other people to get along in life. As I write this, I’m on a train by myself, travelling long distance for the first time in my life. The best thing is, I’m OK with it!

Usually my husband would travel with me, even if he had no need to. He would busy himself whilst I worked, purely to make me feel better about being in strange cities and so that I didn’t have to stay in a hotel room by myself. A year ago I wouldn’t have entertained travelling long-distance to work by myself. I would have shut it down immediately, not even taking the time to think it through. The worst thing about this is that I set myself up to miss out on so much. I was so intent on worrying about what will never happen, that I turned down opportunities just to ‘save myself‘.

Finding the courage to go it alone –

I know that to some people this may seem trivial. Travelling for work is something that happens every day for so many individuals. It’s just work and they do what they have to do to make a living. I know this, so I’m not sure why I’d blown the whole scenario up in my head. Trains were scary to me, something I was genuinely afraid of. How could I possibly catch a train, change platforms and get to my destination all on my own?

Guess what? I could and I can! When I got the details through for this work trip, I agreed to it before I had the chance to think about it. As a mother, the last thing I want to do is pass on my irrational fears to my children. They need to see me being strong and getting on with everyday life, without restricting my own experiences or theirs. The world doesn’t have to be a scary place and they need to realise that as much as I do.

I have to admit that on the run up to this trip, I worried myself sick. I didn’t want to do it and I was imagining every single negative scenario under the sun. On the morning I travelled though I felt good, because I knew I’d done it. I was going to grab a pastry and a coffee. I was going to work on the train and I was going to a job that I absolutely love.

Positivity breeds positivity –

The best thing about pushing myself and grabbing this opportunity with both hands, is that I felt much more positive about my future prospects and working life. I feel good about myself knowing that I’ve knocked down those barriers and I know that a fear of travelling will never hold me back again.

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