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Tag: anxiety

Word Based Mistakes and Anxiety

Word Based Mistakes and Anxiety

Recently I’ve found myself at odds with the television in our house. I used to watch it to relax of an evening, but I find myself becoming increasingly frustrated with spending time immersed in media that I’m not going to learn from. So instead of switching on the box, I’ve been reaching for my phone and losing myself in the world of podcasts. I feel at peace when I listen to a quality podcast as I know I’m taking time out for myself, whilst also nurturing my brain and feeding my thirst for knowledge.

The reason I’m bringing up podcasts in a post centred around anxiety, is that I’m a huge fan of listening to Bryony Gordon’s Mad World. It’s a podcast that’s main focus is mental health with Bryony interviewing the creme de la creme, of the celebrity world. Every guest gives you a warts and all insight into their own issues with mental health, past and present. My favourite episode so far included Steven Fry, but it wasn’t until I listened to Fearne Cotton speak that the penny really dropped, with regards to my own mental health.

Word based mistakes –

Fearne Cotton wasn’t at all concerned about discussing her mental health issues for all to hear. She realises that talking is educating and that it’s something we need to do more of, to make mental health issues less of a taboo. What resonated with me most though was that the catalyst for a large amount of her anxiety issues were and still are directly related to word based mistakes. The times when we say something we regret. The times when we wake in the small hours of the morning, fending off a panic attack because we can’t work out whether we were rude to that person in the supermarket.

In fact, one of the main reasons I gave up alcohol was because I became mentally exhausted with trying to work out if I’d said something wrong whilst under the influence. I would return from small gatherings, big nights out and intimate dinners wondering what I’d said and imaging how I could have worded things better. To make people like me more and to offend people a lot less.

The truth is, that 99% of the time I had absolutely nothing to worry about. The thing is, it’s rare that I’m not nice to people. It’s not often that I’ll say anything out of turn. I’m very self-aware and so if I’m off with someone, I’ll know I’ve done it as I probably did it intentionally and only because it was called for. I’ve worked with the general public for the entirety of my working life, I know how to do it. So why do I lose so many precious hours wondering what I’ve said wrong?

I don’t know the answer. I’m not sure anyone really knows the answer. Sadly, as highlighted by Fearne, I’m not alone in experiencing such infuriating, intrusive thoughts. If someone as successful as Fearne Cotton is suffering, then it just goes to show that mental illness doesn’t discriminate.

Is self-care the answer?

As with a lot of mental health issues, self-care is an incredibly effective treatment. I’m not talking about pampering yourself each and every day, or indulging in a spot of retail therapy every lunch hour. I’m talking about making sure we look after ourselves in smaller and more regular ways. Simple things like going to bed early a few nights a week, or reading a good book before bed, can give us the brain space we need to tackle what life throws at us.

My ‘little thing‘ was giving up alcohol, as I knew it was making my anxiety worse. If I’d had a drink, you could almost guarantee I’d have a panic attack and you can definitely guarantee that I’d ask my husband if I’d ‘said anything wrong’. I knew that I was lacking in self-care and that by carrying on drinking, I would only serve to make my life more difficult for myself and for my family.

Ever since I heard Fearne Cotton mention ‘word based mistakes’ I’ve felt like I’ve had more clarity when it comes to my issues with anxiety. The trouble with these issues is that often we feel very alone and isolated. We feel like we’re the only ones suffering and that we’re somehow ‘not wired up’. Just giving these thoughts a name, a definition even an identity makes suffering them all the more bearable.

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High Functioning Anxiety – When the World Thinks You’re OK

High Functioning Anxiety – When the World Thinks You’re OK

When people feel anxious they’ll often get butterflies in their stomach, maybe their heart will race a little and they’ll start to sweat. All of this is really normal when you’re in an anxiety inducing situation. It’s the body’s response to the given circumstance and once that changes, normal service resumes.

What if it’s not that simple though? What if anxiety doesn’t just peak when a person gets scared or angry? For some people heightened anxiety is  a way of life, some people have forgotten what it feels like to live anxiety free for the most part.

For me, anxiety makes up a hefty percentage of who I am . I’m continually in a state of fight or flight, always looking over my shoulder and waiting for disaster to strike. Don’t get me wrong, this isn’t a ‘woe me’ post, it’s fact. I have an anxiety disorder that if I let it, would control my life. Luckily for me, if this makes me lucky, I’m high functioning. This means that to the outside world I’m ‘normal’. I’m able to look after two young children, run a business and converse naturally. When actually, all I want to do is hide away.

Whilst being high functioning may seem like a good thing, it’s completely and utterly exhausting. Sometime I think it would be easier to hideaway, rather than putting on a front to the outside world. At least that way I’d be able to rest. We can’t change who we are though and the grass is very rarely greener on the other side. I am who I am, anxiety and all.

Writing about anxiety and how it affects my day-to-day life isn’t an easy thing to do. Most of the time I find writing cathartic, but when the subject is so emotive it can also be a huge trigger. One of the things that bothers me most when I write about mental health, is that it never sounds serious enough. I never feel like I’ve done it justice. Anxiety can be crippling, devastating and downright ugly. Everyone needs to know how bad it can get, the more people who talk about it the better. Maybe that way the seriousness of it won’t be diluted by the stigma that surrounds it.

I’m only too aware of how difficult it can be for people to talk about their mental health, or the state of mind of those they love. More often than not it’s easier not to talk about it, because a lack of understanding can make the situation ten times worse. I’ve learnt over the years to accept it when others don’t understand my situation. In fact I’m glad they don’t understand, because that could mean they don’t suffer – that they’re OK. This approach just isn’t sustainable though. The one thing that will help anyone who suffers with their mental health is talking. Talking is educating and only when the world is educated on all things mental health, can we really start to make a difference to the lives of those that need help to combat their demons.

Anxiety means so many different things, to so many different people. The one thing we all have to remember is to recognise the seriousness of anxiety and to let your voice be heard!


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Is the Key to Success Self Doubt?

Is the Key to Success Self Doubt?

Ever since I ventured into the blogging world I’ve been bugged by my own self doubt. Wait, who am I kidding? I’ve ALWAYS been troubled by my own self doubt. I suppose blogging has just resurfaced old feelings, now that I’m constantly tip tapping them down for all to see.

Becoming a blogger brings with it a lot to think about. Obviously there’s the workload, which you don’t realise is so hefty until it’s too late. Once you get the blogging bug, there’s no going back.  Then there’s the feeling of exposure, when you think about who might be reading your stuff. What do they think of it? Is it any good? At some point, every blogger I know has had a crisis in confidence and has thought about closing their laptop for good.

In a strange way though, blogging has also given me a much needed boost in confidence. I wouldn’t have dreamed that I would end up being a blogger and a writer when I was in the early days of motherhood. It took everything I had to function daily, never mind to consider building up a brand new business with very limited technical knowledge. As time went by though I knew I needed something more. I dipped my toes into blogging and quickly realised what amazing possibilities lay before me.

I think that living with a lurking aura of self doubt can be the unexpected key to our success. Apart from the drive I have to be a someone in the eyes of my children and husband, I want to prove to myself that my demons aren’t in control of my future. Every time I get the feeling that I’ve taken on too much or I get anxious about looming deadlines, I turn that negative energy on its head and convert it into ambition. OK not every time, but I try to ignore the bad feelings and replace them with good. I do my best to ignore the voice that’s telling me I can’t and I amplify the one that tells me I can.

I’ve never had a passion for my work life before I found blogging and writing. I’ve always just gone through the motions. Yes I’ve built up a business before, but I didn’t care much for what I did. Now each morning I get up with fresh ideas, ready to power through another day of doing what I love!


So, if living with self doubt is what I have to do to make a success of myself, so be it. I’m only human after all!


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How to Stop Work Getting on Top of You

How to Stop Work Getting on Top of You

Whatever kind of work you do, sometimes it can all get too much. It’s easy for your workload to get out of control and leave you feeling like it’s getting on top of you. This is not a healthy situation to be in. Too much work can have adverse effects, leaving you feeling stressed and anxious.

In the blogging and writing world, the workload is never ending. I have a to do list as long as my arm and it’s still growing! Don’t fret though, there are ways to help battle that overwhelming feeling of dread when work is getting too much. It’s important that you tackle your situation now to reduce the amount of pressure you’re under, before it begins to have an effect on the rest of your life. Consider the following:

Find ways to delegate –

Admitting that you need help isn’t always an easy thing to do, but it the long run it can be one of the most beneficial. If you have jobs that aren’t your strong point, you could ask for a little guidance from someone who finds it a breeze.

Maybe you simply don’t have enough hours in the day to complete every task on your list, in that case hiring extra help can come in handy. This may seem drastic, but it doesn’t have to be as expensive as you might think. For example, hiring a Virtual Assistant to do your scheduling for you will free up hours that you can dedicate to other jobs and most of the time they only charge a small fee.

If all else fails get your partner to help out, make it a family business!

Plan your workload –

I love to plan. If I didn’t my work life would collapse around me. Dedicate time slots to tasks if you have to, simply knowing when jobs will be completed can take them off of your mind until you are ready to tackle them. Don’t let work that you know needs to be completed later, affect what you’re doing now.

Give yourself a break –

When you’re planning your tasks, plan some time off too! A break is essential if you want to stay focussed and work to the best of your ability. No one can work hard without breaks, it’s just not healthy. Close the laptop, make a cuppa or go for a little walk. A bit of space can help you put things into a little more perspective, as well as leave you feeling refreshed.

Learn how to properly relax –

Figure out how you can relax properly. Whether it’s spending time with family, watching the television or something a little more soothing like hypnotherapy. Once you know how to make your self feel completely at ease, take time to do it regularly. Constantly feeling stressed and anxious takes a lot of energy, so it’s important that you take time to replenish it!

Don’t let work get the better of you, you’ll feel a hundred times better once you’re back in the driving seat!


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Helping Your Children Cope with the Emotional Effects of Moving

Helping Your Children Cope with the Emotional Effects of Moving

It would be great if the first home we moved into were perfect, but sometimes life isn’t that simple. There are so many reasons why moving home may be the only option for you and your family. Enhanced career prospects, a better education for your children and a more desirable community.  These are just a few of the reasons you might be considering leaving your current home.  Besides the practical stresses that accompany any move, there are the emotional effects of moving. Adults can cope with these quite well, but change can often have a harder impact on little ones. For a happy child, it’s important to know what you’re facing with a home move at any stage of your child’s development. Here are a few ways to help everyone settle into a new environment.


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The Facts

Numerous studies have been carried out into the psychological effects of moving home on children. Unfortunately, it’s not all good news. Introverted children in particular, seem to bear the brunt of moving the hardest. They can find it more difficult to make new friends in new places. Extroverted kids have an easier time, but it’s still important to keep an eye on their progress post-move.

The Good News

The good news is that you can easily help. The key to coping with a child troubled by a move is patience. Kids might become more clingy when they find themselves in an unfamiliar situation and place. Bear with them it can take time, but they will begin to make friends, settle in and get back to their old selves. Encourage them to take part in new clubs and activities. This is the best way to get them chatting to their peers and enjoying the new environment.


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The Moving Process

One way to ease anxious kids is to involve them completely in the moving process. Introduce them to the place they’re going to be living in before the big move. Show them all the positive things going on around their new home and all the fun things that await them. On moving day, focus your attention on them. Make life easier for yourself by checking out removal services through Shiply. The less you have to worry about, the more you can check on your little ones and keep smiles on their faces. Once you’re moved in, give them freedom. Let them choose colours in their new rooms and maybe let them help with the painting. The last thing you want is them feeling uncomfortable or lost.

New schools

New homes mean new schools. This can be daunting, but it’s nothing unsurpassable. Get your child involved in as many local activities as possible. Dance troops, swimming clubs, brownies and scouts. A familiar face on the playground will make a strange new school seem a much brighter place.

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Old Friends

A big worry for children moving home is missing their old friends, but today it’s easier to keep in touch than ever. We have mobiles, video calls and endless social media platforms. Reassure your kids that this isn’t goodbye forever. They can see their friends and chat with them when they want.

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Loving The Life Less Lived – A Mental Health Awareness Week Giveaway

Loving The Life Less Lived – A Mental Health Awareness Week Giveaway

Mental Health Awareness week 2017 falls between 8th – 17th May.  In light of this, here at The Tale of Mummyhood, we are giving away a copy of the fabulous book LOVING THE LIFE LESS LIVED by Gail Marie Mitchell.


‘Loving The Life Less Lived is an emotional rollercoaster, it’s an honest, often brutal example of how anxiety can affect your life.

It is also a beacon of hope, that acceptance truly does have the power to change your life.’

Author, Shelley Wilson


For your chance to win this fabulous book, all you have to do is enter using the form below.  Please do take a peek at the terms and conditions…good luck!


Loving The Life Less Lived Book Giveaway



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