Every now and again I look back into the archives of this little blog of mine. Sometimes I Iike what I read. Sometimes I’m a little embarrassed about the thoughts and feelings that I’ve had previously and a lot of the time looking back helps me to recognise just how far we’ve come. When I started The Tale of Mummyhood, I was the mother of a nine month old and I was heavily pregnant with baby number two. I had no idea where I wanted my blog to go, all I knew was that stay at home parenthood was tough and I needed an escape.
In the early days I spent so much time writing about how hard I found being a mum. I felt like my world had been rocked and that it would never be the same again. I hated it for so long, the sleepless nights and the endless anxiety during the day was so difficult to deal with. For a time, I honestly wondered why people had children. Why would they do that to themselves? It’s a complete and utter shock to the system.
I remember being told ‘it will get easier‘ time and time again. In fact, I was told it that often that I got sick of hearing it. Things didn’t feel like they would ever get easier. How could they? Parenting is exhausting and relentless, it’s definitely not what I would ever have described as being ‘easy’.
Things do get easier –
At the point of writing this, my eldest daughter is approaching 3 and my youngest is approaching 2. I’ve spent a little time tidying up my blog and I came across those old posts from when the littlest was born. I remembered how raw those feelings were when I wrote them, but do you know something? That time feels like a lifetime away. Although I can remember it being tough, the pain of those feelings has long passed.
I’m not saying that my children don’t push my buttons on a daily basis. I’m also not under any illusions that there aren’t going to be tough times ahead. This year marks a huge change for us as our eldest starts nursery and that’s sure to bring with it more challenges for us as a family. Day-to-day, life isn’t the struggle it once was though. The world doesn’t implode if the girls don’t get fed every four hours on the dot. Our days aren’t dictated by strict nap times, that would have us chained to the house for the middle part of every day. Days out don’t have to be planned with military precision and if we’re not home for the 7 pm bedtime routine, I don’t feel like I’ve been cheated out of my own time.
I wish I could pin point when this happened, but it’s just been a gradual process. Slowly getting easier over the past year. Life has just taken its natural course and it seems that we are already reaping the rewards from all of the hard work we have put into our girls so far. I hate to admit it, but these days I even find my self telling new parents that it gets easier.
Time flies so fast. It’s true when they say ‘the days are long, but the years are short‘. I suppose what I’m trying to say is that, if you have small children and you’re finding things tough. Then don’t beat yourself up for feeling the way that you do. Just take each hour or even minute as it comes, because as much as I don’t want to dismiss how you’re feeling now, you do need to know that it will get easier.