Does Staying at Home with the Kids Mean I Lack Ambition?

Lifestyle / Monday, July 16th, 2018

My husband and I had a conversation recently, mainly about the family life of professionals. He told me that one of his colleagues had informed him that he does so well at work, because his wife ‘lacks ambition‘. What he meant was, his wife had given up her professional role to stay at home with the kids and that it was the right choice for their family. It would seem that he appreciated this ‘lack of ambition‘ though, as he felt it allowed him to progress swiftly in his own career. As you can imagine, I was a little taken aback by his admission.

I’ve previously written about my marriage and I’ve commented on the main reason it’s working so well. That reason was the fact that I stay at home to look after the kids. Yes this is so my husband can progress in his career and yes it meant I had to leave my first business behind. Does it mean I lack ambition though? Am I forever destined to be mother and housewife, with no desire to follow my dreams? I think not.

Ambition doesn’t always wear the same mask –

The thing about ambition is that it means different things to different people. From being a teenager, it was always my ambition to work for myself. I knew I wanted to be my own boss and a lot of hard work got me there. My husband always dreamt of working as a medical professional, he continues to work hard in this field and he will go far. This demonstrates ambition in two different ways, but both are ambition nonetheless.

Stronger than my ambition to build a business, was my desire to become the best mum I could be. It was my ambition to become a stay at home parent, that was and still is the environment in which I want to raise my children. How can that not be ambition? It’s a dream and it takes a lot of working towards, I believe I have succeeded. I have have fulfilled my ambition.

I do always put my husbands work needs before my own, but that’s because I want to, not because I have to. Just because I want him to achieve his goals and because I’m happy to work around his aspirations, doesn’t mean I’m faltering on the ambition front. Ambition doesn’t just have to be associated with career prospects, it covers life as a whole.

There’s more than one way to skin a cat –

The comment this guy made frustrated me most, because my ambition to be self employed will never disappear. That’s why I built up a blogging and freelance writing business from home. Just because people don’t always fulfil their ambition by taking the traditional route, doesn’t mean it’s not achievable. I know from my own experience that anything is possible if you put your mind to it. Referring to your loved one as ‘lacking ambition’ is entirely unacceptable, given that there’s so much to be achieved without leaving the comfort of your own home.

So whatever your ambition may be, whether it’s to rise through the ranks of your company, to be a stay at home parent or to build a business of your own. Never, ever believe that you are lacking in ambition. Never let anyone tell you that you don’t aspire to do anything or be anyone. You are you for a reason and you’re already achieving so much.






26 Replies to “Does Staying at Home with the Kids Mean I Lack Ambition?”

  1. Strange wording to use and this post really made me think. I have ambition but they have changed as my situation has changed but they have not gone away x

  2. I think raising a family doesn’t mean you are lacking ambition and the implication that is does is a bit condescending to say the least. Also freelancing and blogging requires a lot of ambition and resilience to keep going. I get it quite a lot when I say I’m self employed people think that I’m not motivated to get a ‘proper’ job, which is not the case. I just want to be there for the kids and run my own business, which is actually bloody hard!

  3. Oh my word! That sort of stupid comment is like a red rag to a bull for me! It completely disrespects the enormous role she is playing to help him succeed, which might just be her ambition at the end of the day – to help him succeed!
    Sorry, but he sounds like an idiot who doesn’t appreciate what he has!

  4. That is a stupid comment! Who will raise the children if she ‘lacks ambition”? That’s what I don’t get tbh, why is it that staying at home to raise children means that a woman (or man) lacks ambition? Whichever you way you look at it, one parent has to be the main child carer whether you have ‘ambition’ or not! Great post and one that made me think! #blogstravaganza

  5. I love this post. When I was working in the Corporate world I was ‘ambitious’. I relished stress, deadlines and working my way up the Corporate ladder. It wasn’t what motivated me though.

    Becoming a SAHM and creating a children’s craft and party box business, which I can run alongside looking after the kids, has made me analyse what’s important to me. It was success that motivated me. Doing a good job, making a difference. Which doesn’t have to be rewarded with pay rises and career progression.

    You’re so right. Ambition to be the best parent, to create a happy life for a partner and a fulfilled life for yourself is a pretty amazing ambition to have. #Blogstravaganza

  6. I personally someones goals and success are personal. Your husbands work colleague had no right to say that you lack ambition. Just because you’re not sat at a desk in a suit doesnt mean you lack ambition. You do what works for you and your family. #Blogstravaganza

  7. What an odd comment to make! It is interesting how becoming a parent and staying at home is viewed though. When I was pregnant with my eldest someone asked if it was an accident because I seemed too focused on my career to be someone who also wanted children (so wrong!). Someone else thought I’d last two minutes at home before going back to the office because I was ambitious. I’m not actually a fan of the word. I prefer to think of myself as self motivated and driven, and I think I can point that energy towards any area of my life, not just one that provided a steady income. Thank you for sharing and challenging opinion on this! Lovely to host #Blogstravaganza with you as always xx

  8. Ambition is the desire and determination to achieve a goal. Nowhere does it say that ambition must be linked to career or financial goals. #Blogstravaganza

  9. For all he knows her ambition might be to find a partner who respects her! Hopefully it was just a poor way to word their set up but I for a fact know I have become fast more ambitious since the child than I ever was before in full time employment. #Blogstravaganza

  10. I actually get so angry when I hear comments like this. Each to their own and everyone’s ambitions and life aspirations are different. I work full time and blog for myself. I have my own goals in both things and I refuse to let anyone tell me my timeline and how I should be achieving my goals #Blogstravaganza

  11. Wow! I would be so upset if I found out my husband said something like that. I have always been career driven but when we made the decision I decided that I wanted to spend more time with my children then I did at work. I reduced my hours and put ‘progression’ on hold so I could be there for my children. If something is happening at in my job and the children need something then my husband will rearrange his day to support me. Like you said different people see ambition differently. I hope he was just using careless wording and not actually thinking she was lacking in ambition. #Blogstravaganza

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