The Worst Things you can Say to a Stay at Home Mum

Family / Monday, November 12th, 2018

Skipping back a few hundred blog posts, for those of you that don’t know. In 2015 I gave up my business to become a stay at home mum. It was always my intention and I didn’t hesitate to hang up my scissors once our eldest was born. There have been a few ups and downs since then, sometimes I want to work, as well as bring up our girls. I go around in circles on a regular basis, trying to work out what the best plan of action is. I suppose though, even as a blogger which very few people accept as ‘work’ – I beg to differ by the way – I am first and foremost a stay at home mum.

Ever since becoming a parent and homemaker I have come across many different reactions. Some would love to be in my position, some think I’m lazy and some think my husband must be some sort of millionaire – he’s not I can assure you.  There have been comments that I’ve laughed at and others that have cut me a little bit. You see no one really knows another person’s situation, so even though comments aren’t made maliciously they sometimes come across that way.

So just in case you were wondering, here are the worst things you can say to a stay at home mum;

‘You don’t do anything during the week do you?’ – 

This was one that really got to me. It was assumed that because I still have one child at home full-time that I can’t possibly be doing anything during the week. Actually I do a hell of a lot. Once I’ve watched Jeremy Kyle and Loose Women that is.

‘I wish I didn’t have to go to work’ – 

This often comes with being told I’m really lucky and that I don’t realise how good my situation is. I do realise that this isn’t an option for everyone, but I don’t think that makes me lucky. It’s just our situation and it works for us. It has its downfalls too, just like being a working parent does. It’s all swings and roundabouts.

‘It must be so nice to have a lie-in each day’ – 

I haven’t had a lie in since 2015.

‘You still have time to make your mark’ – 

These exact words were kindly spouted in my direction, by an ageing professional. With. No. Kids. Need I say more?

‘When will you go back to work? – 

Well actually I do work. I earn a decent wage, from home, whilst looking after my children.

‘I would hate to look after kids all day’ – 

I’m not going to tell you every single day is a walk in the park, because it’s not. I just don’t think it’s a good idea to berate another person’s long-term situation, especially when your main point is that all they do is ‘look after kids all day‘. Just doesn’t seem like a nice thing to say, does it?

20 Replies to “The Worst Things you can Say to a Stay at Home Mum”

  1. Being a stay-at-home mom is a full time job! I hope when I have kids in future that I can stay home. People don’t realize that its just like a regular job except you don’t miss a second of your kids growing up.

  2. Ha! I don’t think I will ever hear comments like this – because I wouldn’t lead with “I am a stay at home mom”. I would lead with “I work from home”. And yes, it rocks to work from home in my PJs… And it is also great because I can be with my child as much as I want!

  3. I don’t have any children but my friends did! It is an amazingly tough job to be with a child or children and attempt to keep the house clean, cook etc. I have a lot of respect that choose to stay at home with their kids if they are able to.

  4. A lot of these apply to people who work from home. I swear some of my friends thinks I just watch tv and eat chips all day. I may be in the comfort of my home but I still have responsibilities and things to do. More power to the stay at home moms!

  5. This is a very timely read. My wife and I decided it would be best for her to stay at home and not everyone in my family agrees with it.

  6. Sweetheart, people are entitled to their opinion. I hate it when people can’t mind their business. Raising a child is a hell of a job, thanks to thoughtful mom’s like you who are willing to leave their comfort zone for the sack of their children. If all moms were like you, I think the number of mannerless child we have in the society will reduce drastically.

  7. Oh goodness, these statements regarding stay at home Moms are horrible. I am also a Mom that has the blessing of staying home with her children. I wouldn’t change it for the world and I’d give someone a swift talking to if they ever told me these things.

  8. As a stay-at-home mom who runs her own business, I’ve never heard, “you still have time to leave your mark.” I never understood why people think when you’re home you have all the time in the world.

  9. It’s funny how some people assume just because you are a stay at home mum that you have a cushy life! I work from home and I also homeschool my boys and it’s far from a walk in the park. Working 14 hour shifts at my old job was a breeze compared to life now but I get to watch my kids grow up and that’s priceless. 🙂 x

  10. It is a hard job to become a full-time mom. You need to do every household chores and taking care a your family and everything is not an easy job but I am so proud to say that I am a stay at home mom and I am working and earning while having a chance to see my love ones.

  11. I am a stay at home mom, Honestly I become more sensitive of what others can tell me and my situation. But I don’t care lol. I am happy of hat I am doing now,

  12. I am not a stay at home mom but I can actually relate of hat they feel because I ahve been there. I stay at home for 5 years when me and my husband got married. It was really hard honestly, but it all pays off when you see that you can guide your children physically.

  13. I’m a work-at-home mom, and I hate just as much that people think that because I’m home all day that I can just drop everything to do whatever.

    When you have little kids, that IS a full time job. People are awful!!

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