Helping Kids Through a Divorce

Helping Kids Through a Divorce

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No one ever gets married and has kids thinking that they will end up divorced, but unfortunately, around 42 percent of all marriages end in divorce in the UK.

 

Divorces are extremely difficult for all involved, but they can be particularly hard on children who often find it hard to understand why mummy and daddy don’t love each other anymore. That’s why if you have children and you’re getting divorced, you need to take the time to look after your children and ensure they get through it as painlessly as possible.

 

Here are some things that should help you to make your split easier on the kids:

 

Hire a Solicitor

 

Hiring a divorce solicitor, like the experts at  Austin Kemp Solicitors, to do all of your negotiations is a great way to take some of the pressure off you and your ex and minimise the amount of fighting you do that will take a toll on you and which could upset the kids they were to overhear you. It’s also a great way to ensure that you come to a fair resolution as swiftly as possible.

 

Explain it In their Terms

 

When you’re explaining your divorce, instead of focusing on you and your ex and what it means for your life, focus on how it will affect the kids. Let them know that although you’ll be living in different houses, they will still get to see both parents and explain how you both still love them very much. This will help to reassure them.

 

Do It Together

 

Your relationship may have broken down, but you’re still parents and when you’re telling the kids that it’s over, it would be really good if you could put on a united front so that they can see you working together and being in the same space, even though you are breaking up.

 

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Listen to Them

 

Once you’ve sat them down and told them you will be divorcing, it’s important that you listen to what they have to say and reassure them where necessary. Your child needs to know that he or she can express her feelings and be listened to at such a delicate time. If your child is really upset, hiring a counsellor, like the ones at Relate, could be a good idea. They are often much better at getting to the root of fears and allaying them than us parents are.

 

Maintain a Routine

 

Obviously, their routine is going to change somewhat after you divorce, but if you can keep to as many of their regular daily routines as possible, it will help them to feel secure because they will be doing what they have always done and that can be very reassuring in uncertain times.

 

Don’t Talk About the Other Parent

 

At least not in negative terms anyway. Your child loves both parents, and they do not want to have to listen to you ripping your ex apart. Doing so could even damage your child’s sense of identity and any future relationships if he or she comes to believe that one parent is bad.

 

Divorce is hard on everyone, but as long as you are there and you try to keep things safe and calm for your kids, you will all get through it.

 

*This is a collaborative post.

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