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#MumisBest Guest Post – Denver from Denver’s Diary

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Welcome to another instalment of my new guest series #MumisBest!  #MumisBest is all about the ever-growing SAHM/working mum debate.  I really want this series to highlight that there’s no right or wrong way, but whatever works for you and you family.  If you’d like to take part do get in touch, I’d love to hear from you!  For now I will leave you in the hands of  Denver from Denver’s Diary!

 

Back in my Great Grandma’s life, (when she was a young woman), without question when she had her children, she would be a stay at home mum. That’s how things worked backed then, the women stayed at home raising the babies and the men slaved away at work all day. Progressively, over the years things have changed and luckily, some of us get the option to go back to work OR stay at home (under our own will). For those mums who don’t have a choice and must go to work AND raise children, I think you are magic, it takes real guts to do both! I have been so lucky that I can stay at home with my baby without financial worry, I cannot imagine having to work on top of raising a child. Caring for a baby is a full-time job, never mind having the stress of going to work on top of that as well (seriously, working mums must be superheroes).

That being said, as lucky as I am to spend day after day with my bubba, it can get very, very lonely and repetitive. I moved to Scotland to be with my partner, that means we live 250 miles away from my family, my partner’s family and all our friends. We chose to take the plunge and do this due to my partner’s work, at the time we were child free and it was the leap we had to take to further our relationship. So, as you can imagine, being at home with a baby all day with no help from family or friends can make you feel insane. Especially when you have had no adult interaction or conversation all day. I went through a phase of being jealous of my partner, because he could escape the duties of being a parent and go off to work, talk to likeminded people (even if it is just about work stuff) and not be worrying when the next feed is.

After a while of feeling sorry for myself, I sat and had a think about how hard my partner works to provide for us and how heart wrenching it must feel to not be able to spend time with his baby apart from weekends and booked days off. I honestly wouldn’t change being a stay at home mum for the world. Even though sometimes I feel like screaming (and sometimes I stand outside and do) I get to be here for every milestone, development and lesson my baby learns. If I was to go to work, that is what I would be sacrificing.

I think working mums and stay at home mums get a lot of s**t. If you’re working, you’re being selfish, if you stay at home, you’re being lazy. You can’t win either way. That’s why, all mums whether you’re a stay at home mum or not need to support each other. If we don’t have each other’s backs, then who will? Stay at home mums, you’re amazing. Working mums, you’re amazing. And every mum in between, you’re amazing too.

 

Bio:

I’m a Yorkshire girl living in Scotland with my fiancé, baby boy & dog. I love all things old and weird. The purpose of this blog is to document my struggles as a mother and the joy of raising my son, I’m definitely no expert at it and I’m just trying to be the best parent i can be. Hopefully, along the way, i can encourage other mums to support and help each other, to try and figure out this impossible job called ‘parenting’.

You can see more from Denver here:

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18 Comments

  • The Mum Project May 15, 2017 at 8:10 am

    Love this series! Totally agree both mums, either SAHM or working, get shit it’s neverending! Slightly bothers me that the dad’s don’t get it : / #bigpinklink

    Reply
    • The Tale of Mummyhood May 15, 2017 at 11:36 am

      Thankyou! I totally agree, so frustrating! Xx

      Reply
  • franbackwithabump May 15, 2017 at 11:51 am

    This is a lovely post. I applaud SAHM mums- I defo need that break and independence!! Thanks for linking for #marvmondays x

    Reply
    • The Tale of Mummyhood May 17, 2017 at 11:10 am

      Me too! Thanks for stopping by xx

      Reply
  • Musings of a tired mummy...zzz... May 15, 2017 at 8:27 pm

    I stayed at home after my first 2 because child care was so expensive. Now I have 3 part time jobs that I fit around my family. Sometimes I feel guilty but I have found a solution that works well for us all #marvmondays

    Reply
    • The Tale of Mummyhood May 17, 2017 at 11:09 am

      It’s definitely not a one size fits all, it’s great that you have found what works for you! xx

      Reply
  • hjsburnett May 16, 2017 at 12:59 am

    LOVE LOVE LOVE Your series!!!!
    And it’s kind of a damned if we do, damned if we don’t type situation!!! #thebigpinklink

    Reply
    • The Tale of Mummyhood May 17, 2017 at 11:07 am

      Thankyou! xx

      Reply
  • Suzanne J S (@chickenruby) May 17, 2017 at 12:07 pm

    i was a SAHM and a working mum (part time until my youngest of 5 was 9) then i went full time for 2 years before we emigrated, taking the youngest 2 with us. I wasn’t able to work in South Africa and was a SAHM for 4 years, 2 of those years to just one child. For the past 2 years I’ve been a SAH as the youngest wen track to the Uk for boarding school, but he’s coming back in July to hopefully work out here. I’ve certainly found being a SAHM to older kids much more pleasurable then when they were younger, they needed me around more during their teens.

    Reply
    • The Tale of Mummyhood May 17, 2017 at 3:48 pm

      I’m glad to here to say it gets easier as they get a little older! Thanks so much for stopping by xx

      Reply
  • talkingmums1 May 17, 2017 at 12:55 pm

    Brilliant series. Absolutely damned if you do, damned if you don’t! I think it’s really hard to find a balance as work options are often very inflexible. I agree – mums are amazing 🙂 x
    #MarvMondays

    Reply
    • The Tale of Mummyhood May 17, 2017 at 3:47 pm

      Mums are totally amazing! Thanks for a lovely comment! xx

      Reply
  • JakiJellz May 17, 2017 at 8:21 pm

    This is a great series. I’m lucky to have the best of both worlds, working mornings and having the afternoons at home. It’s a happy medium for us all. Thank you for linking up to #TriumphantTales 🙂

    Reply
    • The Tale of Mummyhood May 23, 2017 at 12:15 pm

      Thankyou x

      Reply
  • pinkpearbear May 18, 2017 at 5:48 am

    Fab series! I definitely agree that there is no right or wrong way to do things and it’s whatever works for you. I’m lucky enough to have a business I can do around the kids and now they’re getting older I can devote more time to it so I’ve had the best of both worlds really. Thanks for linking up with the #bigpinklink this week

    Reply
    • The Tale of Mummyhood May 23, 2017 at 12:14 pm

      Thankyou x

      Reply
  • Mrs Mummy Harris May 21, 2017 at 8:03 pm

    I love this, big up to mums of all kinds whether you’re working or not! I completely get your envy of your other half going to work – we had that when I was on mat leave. We had a row over his ability to wee alone. It gets to you and small things really get blown out of proportion but that’s how being at home alone can make you feel!
    Thank you for sharing this with us at #TriumphantTales. I hope to see you again on Tuesday

    Reply
    • The Tale of Mummyhood May 23, 2017 at 11:52 am

      So true x

      Reply

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