Love the Life You Live

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It’s human nature to look at a perfect Instagram feed and immediately assume that person’s life is better than your own.  Its part of our make up to compare what we have, to the person who seems to have it all.  It’s estimated that the average person spends one hour and forty minutes browsing their social media pages each day.  How much of this time do we actually enjoy though, and how much of it do we spend beating ourselves up?

Social media is an outlet for many people, it allows them to be whoever they want to be.  Instagram allows us to take images, crop out the mess and apply that filter that makes us look like we just stepped back into our teenage years.  Facebook allows us to check ourselves into those swanky cocktail bars, where the images we post show us having the time of our lives.  When in reality, we don’t really want to be there.  We are knackered from chasing around after the children all day, we don’t really like the people we are with and we definitely could have done without spending that money.

Social media portrays perfection.  It’s a liar, perfection just doesn’t exist.  My favourite social media feeds are the ones where imperfections are celebrated.  The ones that don’t hide the fact that the house is upside down and the toddler has dinner on her t-shirt.  I love the ones where the bad is celebrated along with the good, proving that we aren’t always living the high life.

Looking through another’s feed often leaves us feeling down about our situation.  It leaves us with a yearning for more, for better than what we have.  It’s so easy for our confidence to be knocked, by assuming that life behind the lens is as ideal as it seems.

If we delve deep into our hearts to find out its true desires, often we are holding onto them for dear life already.  We have love, we laugh, we have a roof over our heads and food in our bellies.  We watch our children sleep peacefully at night and we have everything.

Social media is fun, but letting it get under our skin is dangerous.  Step back, take stock and love the life you live.  Regardless of how perfect you think someone else’s life is, take time to realise that you’ve already made it.

 

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100 Comments

  • justsayingmum January 31, 2017 at 8:34 am

    Well said! Though please let me know about the filter that makes you look like a teenager!!! Jesting aside I agree with what you’re saying. I follow lots of different style of accounts – I love the ones that make me smile and laugh but I equally love the beautiful ones for their inspiration but am aware to pop it into perspective! #DreamTeam

    Reply
    • The Tale of Mummyhood February 1, 2017 at 11:26 am

      Haha, maybe I was being a tad optimistic on that one! I think putting it into perspective is key, thanks for stopping by xx

      Reply
  • Kamsin January 31, 2017 at 10:28 am

    Great post. It’s important to use social media as a positive force in our lives, when we find ourselves getting envious or upset about other people’s lives being better than our own, it’s definitely time to take a break. We tend to post our best online, need to remember everyone else does the same and nothing is ever as good as it looks on instagram. #twinklytuesday

    Reply
    • The Tale of Mummyhood February 1, 2017 at 11:25 am

      So true! x

      Reply
  • Rhyming with Wine January 31, 2017 at 1:21 pm

    I couldn’t agree with this more. Sometimes we just need to stop and take stock of what we have, as you can’t judge another person’s life by the cropped and edited images or 10 second statuses that they share with the world. I honestly thank the universe every single night, when I tuck my kids into their beds, that we have a warm, safe home in which they can sleep soundly. It might sound ridiculous, but so many people throughout history haven’t had this, and sadly still don’t now. It’s good to appreciate the blessings that we have. Thanks for sharing with #DreamTeam x

    Reply
    • The Tale of Mummyhood February 1, 2017 at 11:25 am

      I do the same, I always take time to thank my lucky stars xx

      Reply
    • Nicole February 5, 2017 at 10:45 pm

      Well put Dawn… we are all so lucky, and often we take the basics like a roof over our heads and meals on our table for granted. I thank the Universe too:)

      Reply
      • The Tale of Mummyhood February 6, 2017 at 8:09 am

        So true, Thankyou x

        Reply
  • crummymummy1 February 1, 2017 at 2:12 pm

    As a tabloid journalist I’m rather cynical when it comes to looking at other people’s social media pictures & feeds – they never tell the whole story! #bestandworst

    Reply
    • The Tale of Mummyhood February 1, 2017 at 8:10 pm

      So true! x

      Reply
  • theladybirdsadventures February 1, 2017 at 8:21 pm

    So true. No one wants to see messy homes but I’m sure we all have them at times. #bloggerclubuk

    Reply
    • The Tale of Mummyhood February 2, 2017 at 2:11 pm

      Absolutely! xx

      Reply
  • The Mum Project February 2, 2017 at 7:14 am

    You’re so right! I sometimes hate social media for this very reason, it doesn’t really portray the truth and it consumes our thoughts. I think we should have a digital detox day where we don’t go online, to give ourselves some headspace. : ) #coolmumclub

    Reply
    • The Tale of Mummyhood February 2, 2017 at 2:10 pm

      I think having a digital detox day is a fab idea! xx

      Reply
  • Sonia February 2, 2017 at 8:50 am

    Absolutely! Social media has a lot to answer for! I think this is an important lesson to teach our kids, who are growing up with it all around them. They don’t just compare themselves to the kids in their class anymore- scary stuff!! #ablogginggoodtime

    Reply
    • The Tale of Mummyhood February 2, 2017 at 2:10 pm

      I totally agree, it can be frightening! xx

      Reply
  • Lucy | Leaning In February 2, 2017 at 12:43 pm

    Well said! I also love the ones who keep it real! #StayClassyMama

    Reply
    • The Tale of Mummyhood February 2, 2017 at 2:09 pm

      Thankyou! xx

      Reply
  • ourrachblogs February 2, 2017 at 4:07 pm

    This is brilliant. Personally I like to think I keep it real and will probably moan on social media before i’ll be like ‘oh look at me and what I’ve got”. Sometimes, if I’m having a bad day I will get a pang of jealousy if I’m looking at someone’s picture perfect looking life on insta or the like but like CrummyMummy says above, they never tell the whole story! #stayclassymama

    Reply
    • The Tale of Mummyhood February 3, 2017 at 12:22 pm

      I totally agree, we only see a tiny bit of what is going on. I love that you keep it real, that’s what life is all about! x

      Reply
  • An Imperfect Mum (@animperfectmum) February 2, 2017 at 5:46 pm

    I spend too long on Social Media but I love the glimpses it gives us into people’s lives. I do love the funny ones best! Thank you for linking up to #ablogginggoodtime 🎉

    Reply
    • The Tale of Mummyhood February 3, 2017 at 12:21 pm

      Haha me too! x

      Reply
  • mummuddlingthrough February 2, 2017 at 7:52 pm

    Totally get you. I deleted my personal facebook account some five years ago and have never looked back – for me it filled me with way more negative emotion than any positive. I also have a personal instagram account but I keep who I follow limited, and rarely check it. Lifes too short! Strangely, having blog accounts filled with strangers doesn’t have the same effect – I tend to marvel at others lives and photography skills but feel quite detached from them.
    I’m with you – I love a good old dose of reality in my instafeed 😉
    Thanks for linking up to #coolmumclub

    Reply
    • The Tale of Mummyhood February 3, 2017 at 12:20 pm

      I’m not a Facebook fan either! I totally get what you mean about enjoying photos when you are detached from them, it makes the whole thing much more enjoyable! x

      Reply
  • webmdiva February 2, 2017 at 8:23 pm

    Social media is a gift and a curse. (Mostly a curse.) I gave up Instagram and Facebook a few years back and am so glad I did. I don’t think I realized how much people annoyed me. LOL. With that said, I’m going to bribe my son by all means necessary to stay away from social media until I can’t fight the good fight any longer. Sigh.
    #stayclassymama

    Reply
    • The Tale of Mummyhood February 3, 2017 at 12:18 pm

      I’m not a fan of Facebook either! I don’t blame you, let them be little! x

      Reply
  • Helena February 2, 2017 at 8:54 pm

    Ah the comparison game can be a devil. #DreamTeam

    Reply
    • The Tale of Mummyhood February 3, 2017 at 12:17 pm

      Here, here! x

      Reply
  • Mummascribbles (@mummascribbles) February 4, 2017 at 7:49 pm

    I love this – it is so true. My insta is one that shows the warts and all of what has been shoved on the back of the sofa haha! Thanks for linking up with #TwinklyTuesday

    Reply
    • The Tale of Mummyhood February 6, 2017 at 7:59 am

      Haha thankyou, we have a toy mountain that’s always in my shots 😂 x

      Reply
  • Helen Gandy February 4, 2017 at 10:35 pm

    I am so with you on this, I must prefer to look at a real life image than that of a set up one. I like to think I offer the real life view on mine…..no airs and graces that’s for sure, great post and thanks for linking up to this weeks #bestandworst

    Reply
    • The Tale of Mummyhood February 6, 2017 at 7:59 am

      Thankyou! X

      Reply
  • anklebitersadventures February 5, 2017 at 7:52 am

    Absolutely love this !! I hate the way socail media can sometimes make mums feel inadequate or like they have to keep up with the joneses ! Fab post #blogstravaganza xx

    Reply
    • The Tale of Mummyhood February 6, 2017 at 7:59 am

      Thankyou! X

      Reply
  • itsmeanniebee February 5, 2017 at 8:20 am

    This is so true! I’ve found myself feeling lonely, insignificant and like a failure sometimes when looking ay others social media. I have to remind myself I’ve got a wonderful life and family and I’d probably hate whatever it is I feel I’m missing out on, except minibreaks – I’d love a mini break. It’s easy to get sucked into that unreal world. #blogstravaganza

    Reply
    • The Tale of Mummyhood February 6, 2017 at 7:59 am

      It can be so great but so dangerous at the same time! X

      Reply
  • kerry February 5, 2017 at 8:37 am

    Great post!! I’m guilty of looking at other Instagram pages of mummies with young children and their house’s are pristine and toy free!! I’m like w.t.f how?? how is this possible, I need to get my sh*t together, but no matter how hard I try I can never be one of those mummys, because its not real!

    #Blogstravaganza

    Reply
    • The Tale of Mummyhood February 6, 2017 at 8:00 am

      I don’t know how mums with small children don’t have toys everywhere! Our house is full! X

      Reply
  • Helen February 5, 2017 at 9:50 am

    So very true! Social media can be dangerous, but also a place full of inspiration. It’s important we stay on the inspiration side, rather than the dark side. #blogstravaganza

    Helen x

    http://www.treasureeverymoment.co.uk/

    Reply
    • The Tale of Mummyhood February 6, 2017 at 8:00 am

      Very well said, it’s good to take it with a pinch of salt x

      Reply
  • Matthew Blythe February 5, 2017 at 10:36 am

    Totally agree. Comparisons are just no good! Xxx

    Reply
    • The Tale of Mummyhood February 6, 2017 at 8:00 am

      Thankyou x

      Reply
  • Tee 💜 February 5, 2017 at 11:05 am

    I was just talking about this with my husband as I have a friend who has created a persona through social media and has had to follow this through in person to keep up the lie. I’m sure this is exhausting for her to keep it up rather than just showing the real her. #blogstravaganza

    Reply
    • The Tale of Mummyhood February 6, 2017 at 8:01 am

      Wow, that sounds like incredibly hard work! I don’t know why you’d do that to yourself! X

      Reply
  • softfuzzygunddog February 5, 2017 at 11:11 am

    I think this is a realization that is slowly experiencing an awakening. Hallelujah! I don’t look through any feeds very often. In fact, I somewhat avoid social media (as much as possible, when I’m also trying to make a go of blogging!) because it just doesn’t make me feel very good. It’s awesome to hear somebody say straight up that the perfection is not real!

    Reply
    • The Tale of Mummyhood February 6, 2017 at 8:02 am

      Ah thankyou! X

      Reply
  • softfuzzygunddog February 5, 2017 at 11:12 am

    I always forget to add … #blogstravaganza

    Reply
    • The Tale of Mummyhood February 6, 2017 at 8:02 am

      Haha thanks 👍 x

      Reply
  • Autumn's Mummy February 5, 2017 at 11:53 am

    I’ve definitely been guilty of doing this and comparing myself to other people – it’s so difficult when people look so happy and everything looks perfect! It is important to remember people are just showing you what they want you to see; it’s just a snapshot and life is not perfect. I’m getting better at not comparing myself to the ‘perfect people’, but this post was another great reminder not to do so. #Blogstravaganza

    Reply
    • The Tale of Mummyhood February 6, 2017 at 8:02 am

      It so easy to get drawn into the comparison game though. You are so right though, perfection just doesn’t exist! X

      Reply
  • ohjustmylittleblog February 5, 2017 at 1:31 pm

    This is so true, well said x #KCACOLS

    Reply
    • The Tale of Mummyhood February 6, 2017 at 8:02 am

      Thankyou! X

      Reply
  • MummytoDex February 5, 2017 at 2:08 pm

    Totally hit he nail on the head here! It’s so easy to look at a perfect feed and feel down but it’s all smoke and mirrors!

    #Blogstravaganza

    Reply
    • The Tale of Mummyhood February 6, 2017 at 8:03 am

      Thankyou! X

      Reply
  • Jakijellz February 5, 2017 at 2:15 pm

    Completely agree. My social media has been full of reality this week. Smashed cars, me whinging I’m knackered and stressed. I find it a great place to vent! 🙂 #blogstravaganza

    Reply
    • The Tale of Mummyhood February 6, 2017 at 8:03 am

      It is, and if that helps you should crack on in my opinion! X

      Reply
  • mommyandmadness February 5, 2017 at 3:56 pm

    I usually enjoy looking at people’s photos, even if they do depict perfection. However if I’m having a bad day, or am feeling low that’s when it gets more negative for me. I often take a ‘holiday’ from my personal accounts when this happens! I love the idea another person mentioned of a detox day every week! #blogstravaganza

    Reply
    • The Tale of Mummyhood February 6, 2017 at 8:04 am

      I don’t blame you for taking a ‘holiday’ I think we could all benefit from that x

      Reply
  • Making Little People February 5, 2017 at 4:34 pm

    Well said! That’s why you need us honest bloggers! #blogstravaganza

    Reply
    • The Tale of Mummyhood February 6, 2017 at 8:04 am

      Haha, yes! Thankyou! X

      Reply
  • Mom Of Two Little Girls February 5, 2017 at 4:52 pm

    So true. I definitely prefer the anonymity of Twitter compared to the perceived perfection of people I actually know.
    #blogstravaganza

    Reply
    • The Tale of Mummyhood February 6, 2017 at 8:04 am

      Agreed xx

      Reply
  • Peachy February 5, 2017 at 4:59 pm

    I’s definitely true that what people show us on social media is not the full picture. It’s important to keep that in mind. It’s only natural to want to potray ourselves as perfect. But instead of beating ourselves up over how dull our lives are in comparison, we could ask ourselves what we think makes these other people’s lives so great. What is it that we envy? Why do we envy it? Then change our lives to have those things. Instead of sitting on the couch scrolling through somone’s life of clean homes and dinners out, we could tidy up a bit and go out to eat. Our lives are what we make it. We should be using these fictional social media lives as inspiration for our own real lives. #Blogstravaganza

    Reply
    • The Tale of Mummyhood February 6, 2017 at 8:05 am

      That’s so true, take inspiration rather than feel envious! I love that x

      Reply
  • shesaworkingmum February 5, 2017 at 7:17 pm

    Exactly right! Part of the reason we started the blog was that there was too much of trying to be perfect and we vowed to try hard not to be perfect!

    Reply
    • The Tale of Mummyhood February 6, 2017 at 8:05 am

      It’s so good to see that there are real people out there too! X

      Reply
  • and Jacob makes three February 5, 2017 at 7:55 pm

    Completely agree. Social media can be brilliant, as long as you take it with a pinch of salt. No one has a perfect life/relationship/family. #Blogstravaganza

    Reply
    • The Tale of Mummyhood February 6, 2017 at 8:06 am

      Thankyou x

      Reply
  • Helen @Talking_Mums February 5, 2017 at 7:59 pm

    Oh how I wish I could refrain from comparing myself to others but it’s so easy to fall into that trap. Especially with social media. In a weird kind of way though social media reminds me that all is not always as it seems x
    #KCACOLS

    Reply
    • The Tale of Mummyhood February 6, 2017 at 8:06 am

      It really is easy, we’re all guilty! X

      Reply
  • Nadine February 5, 2017 at 8:50 pm

    Great post!!! I try to keep my Feds really real. Though not perfect or pretty I often throw in pics of my messy living room or the outrageous laundry piles!!! I’m also careful to make sure that the draw to social media doesn’t impact my day with my kids and my focus on them!

    Reply
    • The Tale of Mummyhood February 6, 2017 at 8:07 am

      An outrageous laundry pile makes me feel better and less alone, haha! Thankyou! X

      Reply
  • mumtimestwo February 5, 2017 at 8:53 pm

    The grass, however greener is only as green as the eyes of the jealous neighbour!

    Reply
    • The Tale of Mummyhood February 6, 2017 at 8:07 am

      Very well said x

      Reply
  • Briony February 5, 2017 at 9:33 pm

    Too true. I don’t really edit my photos any more, or stage them. If you house, or me, or the kid are a mess so be it. That’s it’s. In that moment. That’s what I love #blogstravaganza

    Reply
    • The Tale of Mummyhood February 6, 2017 at 8:07 am

      I couldn’t agree more xx

      Reply
  • Mrs Mummy Harris February 5, 2017 at 9:33 pm

    too true! I hated instagram before I started to blog as I hated the perfect world I saw being portrayed – but with parenting i do find the odd “im so tired here is my coffee mug” shot and others show their kids having a tantrum. those photos make me happy that they’re not scared to show the reality of life! #blogstravaganza

    Reply
    • The Tale of Mummyhood February 6, 2017 at 8:08 am

      Instagram is so guilty of portraying perfection isn’t it! X

      Reply
  • Helen @Talking_Mums February 5, 2017 at 9:33 pm

    Lovely words. Cherish what you have x
    #Blogstravaganza

    Reply
    • The Tale of Mummyhood February 6, 2017 at 8:08 am

      Thankyou x

      Reply
  • mindyourmamma February 5, 2017 at 10:15 pm

    All very very true and well said! I often find myself wondering why I’m even browsing through certain feeds! I’m pretty sure it’s not good for our health. It ‘hurts’ to know I probably spend 1h40m on social media a day! Some of it is ‘for work’ (to promote my blog), but a lot of it is time wasting. And for no reason! Aarrgh! One to watch out more! Thanks for sharing #Blogstravaganza

    Reply
    • The Tale of Mummyhood February 6, 2017 at 8:08 am

      I totally get what you mean! I waste so much time on social media! X

      Reply
  • Nicole February 5, 2017 at 10:47 pm

    Such a well put post… and so true. It’s so important to count our blessings and be thankful and joyful for what we have…

    Reply
    • Nicole February 5, 2017 at 10:47 pm

      Sorry… popping over from #blogstravaganza

      Reply
      • The Tale of Mummyhood February 6, 2017 at 8:09 am

        Haha, thanks! X

        Reply
    • The Tale of Mummyhood February 6, 2017 at 8:09 am

      Thankyou x

      Reply
  • thehippychristianmum February 6, 2017 at 9:12 pm

    Very sage advice here, you’re absolutely right. Social media is fun but that’s all it should be really is a bit of fun. (1 hour 40? times 3 maybe!) Thanks for linking up with #KCACOLS Hope to see you back too! 🙂

    Reply
    • The Tale of Mummyhood February 7, 2017 at 5:38 pm

      So true, I didn’t think that sounded enough either! X

      Reply
  • mummysetra February 7, 2017 at 8:27 am

    So true! I left social media as “me”, as I was totally fed up of comparing my life with what my friends were doing! Loving being a mummy blogger though. #KCACOLS

    Reply
    • The Tale of Mummyhood February 7, 2017 at 5:39 pm

      I think it’s the personal accounts that seem to bother people most. I love what I do but I rarely use my personal Facebook! X

      Reply
  • Stacey- A Mums Blind Love February 7, 2017 at 8:18 pm

    Very well put, a great post. I spend way to much time on social media.

    Reply
  • The Mum Project February 9, 2017 at 4:12 pm

    Back from #stayclassymama, still loving this, we need to stop comparing ourselves!

    Reply
  • aliduke79hotmailcom February 11, 2017 at 10:01 pm

    I have no idea how to use filters and all that rubbish on Instagram so what you see is what you get lol.
    #fortheloveofBLOG

    Reply
    • The Tale of Mummyhood February 11, 2017 at 10:41 pm

      I think it good to see the natural shots, it shows what life is really like xx

      Reply
  • A Mum Track Mind (@amumtrackmind) February 12, 2017 at 5:09 pm

    I love social media and in particular, Instagram is my happy happy place. I do however know how carefully I craft, filter and edit my own photographs which means I always look at other people’s images with the same knowledge. I think Instagram stories is great for tempering the glossy images as it can add a bit of real life grit to an account. Comparing ourselves to others is wasted energy though – we can only be ourselves. Great post thanks for sharing on #fortheloveofBLOG x

    Reply
    • The Tale of Mummyhood February 12, 2017 at 5:26 pm

      Thanks for a lovely comment 🙂 xx

      Reply
  • PassTheProseccoPlease February 12, 2017 at 5:40 pm

    So true! I’m guilty and have been for years of seeing the Insta and Facebook mums and claiming to live a perfect life, that’s where this blog came from, I haven’t linked it directly to my personal social media but its a way of being me and being honest! #fortheloveofBLOG

    Reply
    • The Tale of Mummyhood February 12, 2017 at 5:41 pm

      I love the blogs that are honest, it’s the best way! Xx

      Reply
  • Naptime Natter Wendy February 15, 2017 at 7:28 pm

    Yes to all of this. I am guilty of over thinking what I see on social media and wishing I had the perfect insta feed life. In reality, I have an amazing life but small things can easily be taken for granted unfortunately. Replacement I definitely spend more than 1hour 45mins on social media per day!xx #kcacols

    Reply
    • The Tale of Mummyhood February 18, 2017 at 1:20 pm

      I totally agree, it’s so easy to take the small things for granted even if we don’t mean to xx

      Reply

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