Lessons in Life…

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There’s nothing quite like a one year old and a four month old combination to teach you about life.  Rewind to a time before children, I think I can just about remember amongst the blur of sleepless nights and dirty nappies.  We did what we wanted when we wanted, the world was an easier place.  Fast forward a little while, but for what seems like an age, coming across freedom is like coming across rocking horse shit.

When children arrive lessons in life start to come thick and fast  – we’ve all been there and we just go along with it.  On reflection I’ve realised just how steep that curve is!  If I Could teach my pre-mother self a thing or two about life before children, I imagine this is how it would go:

  • Lesson One – go out more.  Two nights every weekend, and tea out three times a week is not enough!  Go out every night and never eat in.  Post children you will spend A LOT of time in the house.  Don’t worry that you are eating out so much, or that your’re spending too much money in cocktail bars.  Go out and stay out whilst you can!
  • Lesson Two –  whilst we are on the subject of cocktail bars.  After you have spent all night in one and you stagger off home to sleep it off, don’t feel guilty about wasting the next day.  Don’t shower, watch crap TV, snooze on the sofa and order takeaway to soak up the booze.  Believe me these days will be gone for a VERY long time, and by god will you miss them!
  • Lesson Three – do you ever feel guilty about watching rubbish TV?  Do you ever think that you should be doing something more productive of an evening?  Well don’t!  Enjoy all the rubbish TV you can, before CBeebies is the only channel your TV knows how to broadcast.  The kids don’t half love it, but frankly at that time in a morning everything is not ‘Rosie’.  You will not be happy that Mr Tumble came (easy, it’s part of the song) and that Upsy Daisy with the blow up skirt – floozy!
  • Lesson Four – retail therapy conquers all, well maybe not, but it certainly helps!  Long days filled with shopping and coffee, more shopping and lunch – maybe even  a glass of wine here and there (I’m daydreaming as I write this).  Well let me tell you children will mark the end of that!  Shopping turns into running around Tesco (literally) before child number one screams with boredom.  Causing random strangers to give you a wide berth, whilst tutting their way down the frozen veg’ section.  Or child number two does a huge shit that can be smelt three aisles away.  You then look around pretending its not yours, whilst you prepare yourself for the logistical nightmare that is an in-car nappy change.  Enjoy shopping, really.


(My earliest attempt at an in-car nappy change, when I was less of a pro!)

My world is an amazing place since I’ve had children, they honestly make our life complete.  Just imagine going back for one day though, imagine everything you would cram into that one day of freedom.  Scratch that, maybe I would just sleep!
 

 

The Pramshed
Keep Calm and Carry On Linking Sunday

 

My Petit Canard

 

Rhyming with Wine
My Random Musings
Pink Pear Bear

Mummascribbles

3 Little Buttons
Best of Worst
Cuddle Fairy

75 Comments

  • Kat July 30, 2016 at 10:19 am

    I vote sleep! I can’t even really imagine life before my daughter, I am lucky I get a little time to myself now she’s in school and she visits her dad at the weekend but sometimes I think I didn’t really do much before she came! I was quite young when I had her though, I guess! #fortheloveofblog

    Reply
    • The Tale of Mummyhood July 30, 2016 at 11:53 am

      Sleep wins everytime! Ah I bet time to yourself is nice, the trouble is after an hour we start to miss them! X

      Reply
  • mummyhereandthere July 30, 2016 at 9:10 pm

    It is amazing what you appreciate when you become parent – sleep and free time my God amazing what you can achieve with no distractions X #kcacols

    Reply
    • The Tale of Mummyhood July 31, 2016 at 5:15 pm

      It really is, even the simplest of tasks can take an age with children around! Thanks for stopping by x

      Reply
  • themotherhub July 30, 2016 at 10:08 pm

    Yes. – do everything ; eat , drink, travel, sleep , do it all ! And Most importantly pee alone #kcacols

    Reply
    • The Tale of Mummyhood July 31, 2016 at 5:16 pm

      Haha that made me giggle! Thanks for reading! X

      Reply
  • mumof3 July 31, 2016 at 7:03 pm

    Yes, I have a thing or two to tell my pre-mum self know too! Definitely didn’t make the most of all those years of free time! Just imagine being able to pop out for an evening without having to worry about babysitters or being woken at 5am by a caterwauling small person! I think we probably see those days through rose-tinted glasses a bit too tbh, but difficult not to miss the freedom! #KCACOLS

    Reply
    • The Tale of Mummyhood August 1, 2016 at 1:18 pm

      I think you right about the rose tinted glasses, it is nice to daydream sometime though! Thanks for stopping by x

      Reply
  • Upside Mum July 31, 2016 at 8:04 pm

    Haha, so true. The things we miss and previously took for granted. It’s all worth it though, as you say. #KCACOLS

    Reply
    • The Tale of Mummyhood August 1, 2016 at 1:18 pm

      It definitely is worth it! X

      Reply
  • Emma August 1, 2016 at 8:27 am

    yep id just sleep, and sleep and sleep! I miss lying in soooo much.im not a good morning person. thanks for joining #fortheloveofblog hope you can come back next week!

    Reply
    • The Tale of Mummyhood August 1, 2016 at 1:20 pm

      Ah what I would do for a lie in!! Thanks for reading x

      Reply
  • randommusings29 August 1, 2016 at 12:22 pm

    It sounds like a huge change! I love your advice to just enjoy life and not feel guilty about any of it.
    Thanks for linking up to #AnythingGoes 🙂
    Debbie

    Reply
    • The Tale of Mummyhood August 1, 2016 at 1:21 pm

      It not always easy to follow but it’s nice if you can! Thanks for stopping by x

      Reply
  • Mama August 1, 2016 at 5:07 pm

    You’re in car change is hilarious. Our most memorable in car change was a ‘loose’ poo changed in a rental car (thank heavens). It was everywhere! Ick.
    Totally agree with you list. This should be a bucket list for couples who are thinking about trying to get pregnant.

    #fartglitter

    Reply
    • The Tale of Mummyhood August 1, 2016 at 6:43 pm

      My husband still laughs now when he see that photo! You does sound worse though! Thanks for stopping by x

      Reply
  • .Sarah. (@OoSerzoO) August 1, 2016 at 6:21 pm

    SO TRUE! Especially #2 lol. Dealing with a hangover and kids… No fun! I also vote sleep! Sleep, Sleep, Sleep! 😀 #KCACOLS

    Reply
    • The Tale of Mummyhood August 1, 2016 at 6:44 pm

      Eurrggh hangovers and kids are a disaster! Sleep definitely wins everytime! Thanks for reading x

      Reply
  • Sunita August 1, 2016 at 7:43 pm

    If only we knew all of the things we would miss! Sleep is a big one for me. Then going out at night. In heels. In a white top and with long dangly earrings. #fortheloveofBLOG

    Reply
    • The Tale of Mummyhood August 1, 2016 at 7:45 pm

      Hah that made me smile, in everything we now avoid! Thanks for stopping by x

      Reply
      • Sunita August 1, 2016 at 9:32 pm

        Another thing is that I’m glad I bought myself some nice clothes and treats before becoming a mummy. I think I predicted that I wouldn’t be shopping lots for myself again! #fortheloveofBLOG

        Reply
        • The Tale of Mummyhood August 2, 2016 at 5:50 am

          That was a good move! X

          Reply
  • OddHogg August 1, 2016 at 8:23 pm

    They’re all true – but I would definitely have sleep on that list. Sleep all day whenever you want! Sleep is a hot commodity around here now #KCACOLS

    Reply
    • The Tale of Mummyhood August 1, 2016 at 8:31 pm

      Ah how I would love to sleep all day! Thanks for reading x

      Reply
  • tammymum August 1, 2016 at 8:26 pm

    Ha amen to that. Never I truer word spoken my dear. I would definitely go back and tell my child self that, over.amd.over.again. Go out stay out slob around all day, WHILST YOU CAN. Great post. Thanks for linking up at #KCACOLS. Hope you can come back again next Sunday.

    Reply
    • The Tale of Mummyhood August 1, 2016 at 8:31 pm

      Haha without a doubt! Thanks for stopping by x

      Reply
  • tammymum August 1, 2016 at 8:28 pm

    Iv just seen on your Twitter that there are 10.5 months between your babies – we managed 11! It nice to know I’m not the only one with such a small age gap xx

    Reply
    • The Tale of Mummyhood August 1, 2016 at 8:32 pm

      Wow really! Has it been a completely crazy time for you? We are just settling down now but it’s been an experience! X

      Reply
      • tammymum August 1, 2016 at 8:40 pm

        It certainly has been an experience. A very very busy one. Baby 2 was born two months early as well so it had its moments. Baby 2 has just turned 1 and and the oldest is 2 on Wednesday so we have found our stride and it has got easier….we’ll sort of, it is still hard but in different ways now lol. That being said I wouldn’t have it any other way now. Glad to hear it’s settling down, like I said it gets easier, kind of lol xx

        Reply
        • The Tale of Mummyhood August 1, 2016 at 8:45 pm

          Ah bless you, what a roller coaster ride you’ve been on, especially with number two being so early. I’m so glad to hear it gets easier!! Xx

          Reply
  • Nicole August 1, 2016 at 8:35 pm

    Agree to all of the above. Life takes a 360 degree turn after kids, doesn’t it! And though it’s a FABULOUS turn, it would be so awesome if we could have another lie-in on the weekend, uninterrupted sleep, care-free shopping days and yeah HOT COFFEE!!!
    #FartGlitter

    Reply
    • The Tale of Mummyhood August 1, 2016 at 8:37 pm

      I dream of uninterrupted sleep, unfortunately that dream is usually interrupted by two hungry children at 6am! Haha! Thanks for reading x

      Reply
  • thefrenchiemummy August 2, 2016 at 5:40 am

    I relate so much to that! And I have only one baby. They change your life for good. #TwinklyTuesday #dreamteam

    Reply
  • Mummy Muckups (Anna) August 2, 2016 at 5:55 am

    Here’s a giant cocktail cheers to that! Oh for a ‘nothing’ give a shit day!!! #TwinklyTuesday

    Reply
    • The Tale of Mummyhood August 2, 2016 at 7:31 am

      It would be amazing wouldn’t it! Thanks for stopping by x

      Reply
  • Our Cherry Tree August 2, 2016 at 8:02 am

    Haha! I would tell myself to just sleep solidly for three years… #DreamTeam #TwinklyTuesday

    Reply
    • The Tale of Mummyhood August 2, 2016 at 7:10 pm

      Ah I dream of such things! X

      Reply
  • This Mum's Life August 2, 2016 at 2:57 pm

    Awww yes, I’m sure sleep would figure highly at the top of most people’s lists of priorities… BUT NOT MINE!!!!! I’d be doing absolutely everything on your list, and relishing every single second!!!!! I always find myself wishing I’d gone out more, stayed out later, had that extra weekend away, or holiday…! My 3 year old has now been screaming/moaning relentlessly for about 4 hours now, and I won’t lie, I’d quite like to swap him for a month of doing whatever the heck I like because my head is banging, my ears are ringing, and at this moment, my old life is massively preferable to this! Cheers to the odd moment we get to feel like ourselves again!!
    #bigpinklink

    Reply
    • The Tale of Mummyhood August 2, 2016 at 7:11 pm

      Haha this really made me smile! You go girl! I hope your cherubs have calmed down and are less screamy, I do hate those screamy days. Thanks for stopping by X

      Reply
  • Manny August 2, 2016 at 3:10 pm

    Your in-car change had me cracking up! You missed out lesson five – don’t feel guilty about those luxurious long lie-ins or sickies pulled to get out of work. There’s certainly no more of those and sleep is a definite luxury!! 🙂 #TwinklyTuesday

    Reply
    • The Tale of Mummyhood August 2, 2016 at 7:12 pm

      Haha my husband thought it was hilarious too! Aw your so right, definitely should have had a number 5 in there! Thanks for stopping by X

      Reply
  • Merlinda Little (Glimmer of Hope) August 2, 2016 at 3:45 pm

    Sleep! If I will be given a free day that is what I will have lots of! #twinklytuesday

    Reply
    • The Tale of Mummyhood August 2, 2016 at 7:12 pm

      Me too!! Thanks for reading x

      Reply
  • Helena August 2, 2016 at 4:08 pm

    I’m one who needs her sleep. Fortunately my hubby was off over the weekend so took care of the kids while I slept in till 11am. #MarvMondays

    Reply
    • The Tale of Mummyhood August 2, 2016 at 7:13 pm

      Ah good old hubby! He definitely sounds like a keeper X

      Reply
  • One Messy Mama August 3, 2016 at 3:36 am

    I would definitely just sleep… Sleep… Sleep…Sleep.. or sit in a white padded room that is SILENT! #KCACOLS

    Reply
    • The Tale of Mummyhood August 3, 2016 at 12:32 pm

      Here here! Thanks for stopping by x

      Reply
  • Helen August 3, 2016 at 6:32 am

    Haha so true! If I had a day without my daughter I’d most probably sleep or nip into all the shops I can. I miss not being able to do that! #BloggerClubUK

    Helen x

    http://www.treasureeverymoment.co.uk/

    Reply
    • The Tale of Mummyhood August 3, 2016 at 12:32 pm

      A child free shopping trip would be amazing! X

      Reply
  • The Mum Project August 3, 2016 at 8:29 am

    Oh man I wish I had read this before I had my son. I always felt guilty being hungover and wasting the day away, but you’re so right I should have relished in the lazyness because this is not allowed anymore! #bigpinklink

    Reply
    • The Tale of Mummyhood August 3, 2016 at 12:33 pm

      I did too, how naive were we! Thanks for reading x

      Reply
  • mindfulmummy August 3, 2016 at 3:37 pm

    I definitely wish I had gone out more pre-kids. We went out a fair bit but I don’t feel I made the most of being a 20 something in London as as a teacher I was often lesson-planning or marking! #AnythingGoes

    Reply
    • The Tale of Mummyhood August 4, 2016 at 11:46 am

      I feel exactly the same, Hubs was a teacher whilst we were child free so he spent a lot of time working too! Thanks for reading x

      Reply
  • Gemma @Cotswold Mum August 3, 2016 at 5:07 pm

    I can also relate to this – If I had that day of freedom I would go shopping when and where I like without trying to organise it around ‘nap time’. I’d also go out to a nice Italian or Indian restaurant for a meal – one of those small intimate ‘adult’ restaurants where they have candles on the tables and where I don’t have to worry how to keep a child occupied (read ‘quiet’) until the meal is served. #Marvmondays

    Reply
    • The Tale of Mummyhood August 4, 2016 at 11:46 am

      Ah nap time! I hate planning my day around nap time, but if I don’t all hell breaks loose! Your meal idea sounds amazing!! X

      Reply
  • Kaye August 3, 2016 at 6:51 pm

    I agree with all of the above! How I yearn for an all-day shopping trip and with wine!! Retail therapy just isn’t the same post-babies – plus you always want to buy them stuff instead of yourself haha. Thanks for linking up to #MarvMondays. Kaye xo

    Reply
    • The Tale of Mummyhood August 4, 2016 at 11:47 am

      Ah that’s so true, in always drawn to the baby section in every shop! Thanks for stopping by x

      Reply
  • Sarah Howe (@RunJumpScrap) August 3, 2016 at 7:01 pm

    And I’m having another?! haha. Bless you. I have a restaurant review for the blog and hubby and I were really trying to get it alone but no…my munchkin will have to come along! Ah well. I so miss the shopping and wine with my Mum!! Great post and thanks for sharing with #bestandworst

    Reply
    • The Tale of Mummyhood August 4, 2016 at 11:48 am

      Life really is different post baby isn’t it! Haha not that we’d change it! Thanks for reading x

      Reply
  • Over Heaven's Hill August 3, 2016 at 8:32 pm

    Haha yup if only we knew then what we know now! #KCACOLS

    Reply
    • The Tale of Mummyhood August 4, 2016 at 11:48 am

      So true! X

      Reply
  • thesingleswan August 3, 2016 at 8:57 pm

    Oh my God this sounds amazing. I remember the days when I never used to get up before midday at a weekend. My then boyfriend and I used to spend the whole morning in bed – rarely anything kinky, in fact we often just used to watch Saturday Morning Kitchen and take paracetamol and drink coffee to recover from our hangovers. Sounds incredible now, but I used to take it for granted. Pen x #KCACOLS

    Reply
    • The Tale of Mummyhood August 4, 2016 at 11:49 am

      I would so love to do that now! Like you say we used to take it for granted, now I can only dream of such luxury! X

      Reply
  • bridiebythesea August 4, 2016 at 7:34 am

    Yes yes and yes!! Especially to sleep more and go out more…that said before we had kids, we used to eat out loads, but I agree just do it all the time we staying for the 10000th night has begun to lose its appeal 😉 xx

    Reply
    • The Tale of Mummyhood August 4, 2016 at 11:50 am

      Eating and sleeping used to be my favourite things! Now sleep is a distant memory, haha! Thanks for reading x

      Reply
      • bridiebythesea August 4, 2016 at 8:19 pm

        Just popping back again from #dreamteam to say thanks for linking up lovely! Hope to see you next time xx

        Reply
  • Topfivemum August 5, 2016 at 8:39 am

    So so true! I don’t know what we did with our time before we had our two babies. Would definitely agree on staying out and drinking cocktails. Also I wish we’d done more cool weekends away. Hindsight and all that 🙂

    Reply
    • The Tale of Mummyhood August 5, 2016 at 8:47 am

      Weekends away! We should have done that too, that would have been a brilliant idea! Thanks for stopping by X

      Reply
  • Lisa Pomerantz August 9, 2016 at 10:58 pm

    Oh you are so very RIGHT about everything. The Mrs. and I should have gone out more, played more, traveled more. What to do! I’ll take 1 day to relive that. Just 1. #fartglitter #bigpinklink

    Reply
    • The Tale of Mummyhood August 10, 2016 at 2:25 pm

      Ah I would so love just one day! Thanks for stopping by! X

      Reply
  • Jessica Freer October 22, 2016 at 10:48 am

    Really enjoyed reading this. Definitely related to the retail therapy needs and the sleep ha xx

    Reply
    • The Tale of Mummyhood October 22, 2016 at 11:36 am

      Ah thankyou! Glad you enjoyed it! Xx

      Reply
  • mummuddlingthrough October 23, 2016 at 5:55 am

    Brilliant! I’ve definitely daydreamed about all of these things 😉

    Reply
    • The Tale of Mummyhood October 24, 2016 at 6:44 pm

      Haha thankyou! x

      Reply

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