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Guilt Free Parenting

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I’ve made no secret about how hard I find being a stay at home Mum.  As much as I try my hardest day in and day out, sometimes I just need a break.  I need time away from my precious cargo to breathe the air that adults breathe.

I used to think that I liked routine and organisation.  Previously my workday followed a structured time table, I knew where I was going to be and at what time.  When my day ended however, I became free.  My evenings and weekends were my own.

At present my days are structured from start to finish.  We wake up, we get dressed and I feed my brood.  We play, we read then it’s snack time.  We play some more, have dinner then nap.  This goes on until bedtime then I start on the house.  I sort and I clean ready to do it all again the very next day.  The same routine and the same times.  We all know how much babies like routine, so I stick to ours as much as possible to keep my babies happy.

Sometimes these days become tiresome.  The days when I feel like I am constantly trying to keep two very grumpy babies from crying.  When the washing pile is as high as the ceiling and the ironing isn’t far behind.  The constant niggle at the back of my mind as I think about what meals I am going to make, and if they will get eaten.  Entertaining children who’s minds are constantly on the go, and usually doing so on minimal amounts of sleep.

Not everyday as a SAHM is like this.  Some days fly by with smiles and giggles, but that doesn’t mean that sometimes a break isn’t needed.  This is when the parent guilt kicks in.  As parents we can feel awful knowing that sometimes we need space from our own children.  We struggle to comprehend why parenting doesn’t always come naturally.

We need to put a stop to parent guilt and accept that sometimes it’s OK, not to be OK.  We need to realise that what we do is damn hard. Whether you stay at home, work-full time or part-time, being a parent is the most trying thing a lot of us will ever do.  It’s amazing, rewarding and fulfilling.  Whilst at the same time being tedious, relentless and wearing.

Taking a break, having time out to rest without feeling guilty for it can replenish the soul.  It allows us return home feeling refreshed, ready to tackle what the monkeys have to throw our way.

Happy parents make for happy children. Taking a break from the humdrum of everyday life once in a while is OK – you definitely deserve it!

A Cornish Mum
A Mum Track Mind

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86 Comments

  • alifeinpracticeblog.com September 16, 2016 at 3:43 pm

    I totally agree, I’d go crazy without my alone time! #picnmix

    Reply
    • The Tale of Mummyhood September 16, 2016 at 5:23 pm

      Me too! Thanks for stopping by x

      Reply
  • thefrenchiemummy September 17, 2016 at 10:40 am

    I could not agree more with you. It’s such an adjustement to be a SAHM when you are used to somthing else. I stryggled with it when I started my maternity leave and it’s why I started my blog… But you are right to say hat it’s not always hard and some days are made of giggles and laughs! #justanotherlinky

    Reply
    • The Tale of Mummyhood September 20, 2016 at 8:55 am

      It’s massive isn’t it. It’s really not what I expected at all, that’s why I started by blog too! The giggles and laughs make all the other days worth it though, thanks for stopping by x

      Reply
  • Mimi Rose & Me September 17, 2016 at 12:02 pm

    O yes I agree completely. Even though sometimes it’s quite hard to get a happy medium between alone time and family life – normally alone time takes a back seat doesn’t? I think we’d all go completely bonkers if we didn’t make more time for one another! #JustAnotherLinky

    Reply
    • The Tale of Mummyhood September 20, 2016 at 8:52 am

      It is difficult to get a balance, especially in because Hubs works such long hours. Sometimes alone time means he gets to see the girls even less, so then it definitely takes a back seat. Thanks for stopping by x

      Reply
  • aliduke79hotmailcom September 17, 2016 at 2:11 pm

    Everyone needs a little break. It has nothing to do with being a good/bad parent. Your babies probably won’t even notice 🙂
    #fortheloveofBLOG

    Reply
    • The Tale of Mummyhood September 18, 2016 at 7:32 pm

      So true, thanks for stopping by x

      Reply
  • thebritishmaple September 17, 2016 at 8:05 pm

    Yes! I have beaten myself up time and time again for not wanting to spend every waking moment with my crew. But I have finally (after 3.5 years!) realised that it’s ok! Great post, great message. Enjoy your you time x #justanotherlinky

    Reply
    • The Tale of Mummyhood September 18, 2016 at 7:33 pm

      Thanks for such a great comment! It’s so easy to feel guilty about it but we are only human X

      Reply
  • The Speed Bump September 18, 2016 at 9:09 am

    I love this. Parenting is so loaded with guilt, sometimes we just need to stop and allow ourselves me time! #KCACOLS

    Reply
    • The Tale of Mummyhood September 18, 2016 at 7:35 pm

      Here, here! X

      Reply
  • debsrandomwritings September 18, 2016 at 2:15 pm

    Hi Zoe, even though it’s been a long time since I’ve had young ones to entertain, I still clearly remember those days. You are right. It is okay to want some space and time to yourself, the alternative would be to go stir crazy. The bitter sweet thing is that children do grow up, but you will probably still never get to the top of the washing and ironing piles!

    xx

    Reply
    • The Tale of Mummyhood September 18, 2016 at 7:36 pm

      Thankyou, it’s nice to be reassured sometimes. Haha, my washing pile seems to get bigger by the day! X

      Reply
  • A mum track mind September 18, 2016 at 3:11 pm

    Being a SAHM is relentless and you definitely need a break sometimes! Don’t feel guilty about it. Like you say happy parents make for happy kids. Thanks for sharing on #fortheloveofBLOG x

    Reply
    • The Tale of Mummyhood September 18, 2016 at 7:36 pm

      So true, a break does you the world of good! Thanks for stopping by x

      Reply
  • rainbowsR2beautiful (@rainbowsaretoo) September 18, 2016 at 3:16 pm

    Agreed, kids are great but sometimes we need adult time. Sometimes that’s blog time too! #KCACOLS

    Reply
    • The Tale of Mummyhood September 18, 2016 at 7:37 pm

      It’s nice to blog uninterrupted sometimes! X

      Reply
  • Http://tinboxtraveller.co.uk September 18, 2016 at 5:34 pm

    I totally agree, parents need a little space every now and again, even every day! And you shouldn’t feel bad about it. Everyone feels this way although when you’re looking in from the outside you might think you see something very different. There are no prefect parents. We’re all just muddling through, trying to do our best. Don’t feel bad about the odd break 😊 #KCACOLS

    Reply
    • The Tale of Mummyhood September 18, 2016 at 7:38 pm

      Ah very well said, it’s nice to know others are in the same boat and that we aren’t alone! Thanks for stopping by X

      Reply
  • Ryan Bickham September 18, 2016 at 10:28 pm

    I’m a working Dad, but when I have the boys for a couple of days, I’m shattered by the end of it. No guilt we all need a rest from time to time. #justanotherlinky

    Reply
    • The Tale of Mummyhood September 20, 2016 at 8:50 am

      So true, these little munchkins are tiring! x

      Reply
  • Emily September 19, 2016 at 6:00 am

    Love this. It’s very true, not everyday is the most enjoyable, and you deserve a break!!

    Reply
    • The Tale of Mummyhood September 19, 2016 at 11:42 am

      I can get tedious sometimes, a break makes you feel so much better! Thankyou x

      Reply
  • Alana - Burnished Chaos September 19, 2016 at 6:03 am

    Couldn’t agree more. I have just booked a two night break for myself and the hubby for next month for a much needed bit of R&R. The kids love spending time with their grandparents so it’s exciting for them too. After a break I am much more relaxed (once the hangover has worn off!) and a much better parent so it’s a win win for us.
    #KCACOLS

    Reply
    • The Tale of Mummyhood September 19, 2016 at 11:41 am

      Oh wow, that sounds AMAZING! Have a great time and some well earned rest! Thanks for stopping by x

      Reply
  • Jakijellz September 19, 2016 at 11:29 am

    I couldn’t agree more! It’s a hard job and I feel bad complaining about it at times. That’s why I love these posts – it reminds us that we are not alone and that we are perfectly normal. Which is always nice to know. #justanotherlinky

    Reply
    • The Tale of Mummyhood September 19, 2016 at 11:39 am

      It is so nice to know we are not alone! x

      Reply
  • alisonlonghurst September 19, 2016 at 11:35 am

    Absolutely! No need for guilt. The most important thing is to recognise and admit that you need a break, rather than trying to soldier on and hide your feelings for fear of looking weak. Life is tough and everyone needs a break. Alison x #AnythingGoes

    Reply
    • The Tale of Mummyhood September 19, 2016 at 11:39 am

      So true, a good break makes things seem so much better! Thankyou x

      Reply
  • randommusings29 September 19, 2016 at 11:35 am

    I can’t begin to imagine how anyone can not need a bit of time to themselves now and again. It’s nothing to feel guilty about – I think ignoring that need and becoming resentful and snappy would be more something to feel guilty over!
    Thanks for linking up to #AnythingGoes 🙂
    Debbie

    Reply
    • The Tale of Mummyhood September 19, 2016 at 11:37 am

      I totally agree, it’s so much worse when you let the situation get too much! Thanks for stopping by x

      Reply
  • alisonlonghurst September 19, 2016 at 11:38 am

    Back for #bigpinklink
    Just to say again: NO GUILT! As parents we definitely spend our lives feeling guilty, but as I said before, it is important to recognise that we need a break too. Alison x #bigpinklink

    Reply
    • The Tale of Mummyhood September 20, 2016 at 8:49 am

      Very well said! x

      Reply
  • pinkpearbear September 19, 2016 at 11:43 am

    Agreed! Parenting is so tough! I think we all need the breaks to be better Mamas and there is no shame in that! You couldn’t do a desk job from 6-7 or longer, 365 days of the year with no breaks so why is motherhood any different?! Guilt free cake breaks all the way! 😉 Thanks for sharing this with us on the #bigpinklink

    Reply
    • The Tale of Mummyhood September 20, 2016 at 8:49 am

      Totally agree, we would go crazy if we worked that much! Less of the guilt more of the cake 🙂 thanks for stopping by x

      Reply
  • Mother of Teenagers September 19, 2016 at 2:55 pm

    It is perfectly normal to want time out. I would go nuts if I didn’t have some adult time. I have a couple of friends whose children are permanently up, never have a bed time and you have to censor your conversations because they are a;ways there. It’s just not the way I do things and never have. When mine were young I so looked forward to 6.30pm when they were in bed and I could do adult stuff again! Mine are older now but I still insist on time away from them. #MarvMondays

    Reply
    • The Tale of Mummyhood September 20, 2016 at 8:44 am

      Wow, I’m not sure how I would cope with that. As much as I love them an hour to myself in the evening is an essential! Thanks for stopping by x

      Reply
  • cherrynewby September 19, 2016 at 3:01 pm

    This is such a great post and such great timing for me – I do find that I often have guilt when I sit down to do something that is not ‘child’ focussed – even if it’s something incredibly dull like ironing. I find that if I do have an evening out that I feel really guilty about having time to myself but it is getting easier the more I do it! #justanotherlinky

    Reply
    • The Tale of Mummyhood September 20, 2016 at 8:43 am

      I’m so glad it’s getting easier, we would go stir crazy if not! Even if it is just the ironing, a little break makes all the difference! x

      Reply
  • Stacie (@ParkerandMe) September 19, 2016 at 5:59 pm

    Everyone needs a break sometimes! It’s nothing to feel guilty about (although I know exactly where you’re coming from). I’m a part time teacher so divide my time between being mummy, teacher and blogger. It’s tough and can be overwhelming sometimes. I try and give myself a little bit of time each week to do something I enjoy #MarvMondays

    Reply
    • The Tale of Mummyhood September 20, 2016 at 8:41 am

      It’s so good that you do that, it makes everything seem that little bit less overwhelming. I don’t know how you manage to split yourself between all of those, I take my hat off to you! x

      Reply
  • mrssavageangel September 20, 2016 at 6:37 am

    I think this is widely acknowledged now, so why anyone would still feel guilty, well, it makes no logical sense, but I know people still do. Motherhood is illogical! I however got over that a while ago. I wouldn’t have been able to be a SAHM for 4.5 (and still going) if I hadn’t. Glad you’re getting your time out. #TwinklyTuesday

    Reply
    • The Tale of Mummyhood September 20, 2016 at 8:39 am

      It’s good that you are able to see past it! Thanks for stopping by x

      Reply
  • Kat September 20, 2016 at 9:18 am

    I am a huge believer in happy parents happy kids. Everyone needs and deserves a break from whatever the norm is from time to time! I love my “time off” and don’t feel guilty about it at all. I have a lovely daughter who also loves time to herself and time together. Win win. #marvmondays

    Reply
    • The Tale of Mummyhood September 20, 2016 at 9:57 am

      It sounds like you have such a good balance, it’s so important to get that! Thanks for stopping by X

      Reply
  • themotherhub September 20, 2016 at 10:00 am

    absolutely – abandon guilt! no good can come of it, its a form of self punishment and you dont deserve to be punished! #kcacols

    Reply
    • The Tale of Mummyhood September 20, 2016 at 10:06 am

      Ah so nicely put, thankyou! 🙂 X

      Reply
  • Liane September 20, 2016 at 6:42 pm

    I could not agree more! Once the kids are in bed, thats my down time! I say that but I’m expecting my 3rd in a few weeks so I think my nights of watching TV, blogging and chilling out will have to be put on the back burner for a while! #MarvMondays

    Reply
    • The Tale of Mummyhood September 21, 2016 at 11:52 am

      Oh wow congratulations! The time soon flies and you will be back in a routine no time! Quiet evenings are so lovely! x

      Reply
  • ourrachblogs September 21, 2016 at 7:02 am

    I have so much respect for SAHMs. There should be no guilt when it comes to taking time out, we’re human too after all and have the things we enjoy doing. #bestandworst

    Reply
    • The Tale of Mummyhood September 21, 2016 at 11:50 am

      So true, its so easy to lose sight of that when you have children! x

      Reply
  • wendy September 21, 2016 at 10:46 am

    I definitely agree! I would go mad if I didn’t have some time to myself. Happy mum = happy baby. Xx #picknmix

    Reply
    • The Tale of Mummyhood September 21, 2016 at 11:41 am

      A break definitely makes all the difference! Thanks for stopping by x

      Reply
  • winnettes September 21, 2016 at 1:25 pm

    I feel like I am constantly in need of a break now I’m a SAHM. When I worked things were different, I still had parental guilt as I wasn’t there all the time but my brain really benefitted from some form of adult conversation and the need to function on a higher level than a three year old. I’ve come to terms with the fact that I can’t have as many breaks as I want but I have also managed to stop feeling guilty for wanting them in the first place. Everyone needs a break.
    #BloggerClubUK

    Reply
    • The Tale of Mummyhood September 23, 2016 at 1:29 pm

      It seems whichever way we do things, as parents we are good a making ourselves feel guilty. I’m so glad you have managed to get past this though, as like you say every one needs and deserves a break x

      Reply
  • Kirsten Toyne September 21, 2016 at 1:46 pm

    Agreed, agreed. It is all too easy to think that we ‘should’ love every minute of it and others do but we all need a break. One person is not meant to do it all.

    Reply
    • The Tale of Mummyhood September 23, 2016 at 1:26 pm

      Very well said, I couldn’t agree more! x

      Reply
  • Sarah Howe @runjumpscrap September 21, 2016 at 4:39 pm

    I sooo admire SAHMs as I work three days (when not on mat leave) and find it hard sometimes to entertain my girlie. I know I should leave her be to entertain herself but like you, I like routine and a plan! YOu are so right to crave a break. I find the gym, a shop or just some scrapbooking helps me. Thanks for sharing with #bestandworst xx

    Reply
    • The Tale of Mummyhood September 23, 2016 at 1:23 pm

      It’s so hard to get it right isn’t it? Even when I leave her to entertain herself I sometimes feel I should be interacting more, even though she’s happily playing! Thanks for stopping by x

      Reply
  • The UnNatural Mother September 21, 2016 at 7:41 pm

    Im on day 2 of returning to work and im finding it so hard. I miss taking & picking my boy up from school and spending time with my little girl. I leave the house at 7.30 am and get home at 7.30pm #justanotherlinky

    Reply
    • The Tale of Mummyhood September 21, 2016 at 7:43 pm

      Oh bless you, it’s so hard to get the right balance isn’t it X

      Reply
  • Kerry September 22, 2016 at 9:22 am

    Absolutely agree, everyone needs a break now and then! Thanks so much for linking up at #KCACOLS, hope you can come back again Sunday after next x

    Reply
    • The Tale of Mummyhood September 23, 2016 at 1:21 pm

      It makes such a difference when you have time out! x

      Reply
  • acornishmum September 22, 2016 at 11:51 am

    We all need a bit of time to just be us sometimes and not just be Mum or Dad for definite. Thanks for linking up to #Picknmix

    Stevie x

    Reply
    • The Tale of Mummyhood September 23, 2016 at 1:20 pm

      So true x

      Reply
  • mummuddlingthrough September 22, 2016 at 8:04 pm

    Amen to this! Having decided to be a SAHM for a while, I subsequently decided to embrace it. That said, I also decided I needed to do a few things for myself too…Guilt free. 🙂
    Thanks for linking up to #coolmumclub xx

    Reply
    • The Tale of Mummyhood September 23, 2016 at 1:19 pm

      That sounds like a good balance – it’s so important to have your own interests too! x

      Reply
  • Annette September 23, 2016 at 10:17 am

    I completely agree. It has to be ok that some days won’t be as great as others. And parenting just doesn’t ever stop, so even just a teeny break can do us the world of good. Never feel guilty about have a break 🙂 Thank you for linking up to the #DreamTeam, it’s great to have you. xx

    Reply
    • The Tale of Mummyhood September 23, 2016 at 1:18 pm

      It keeps us on our toes hey! Thanks for stopping by x

      Reply
  • An imperfect Mum (@animperfectmum) September 23, 2016 at 11:40 am

    Agreed Hun! We need to let go of that mummy guilt and give ourselves a much deserved break! Thank you for linking up to #ablogginggoodtime 🎉

    Reply
    • The Tale of Mummyhood September 23, 2016 at 1:17 pm

      Absolutely! Thanks for stopping by x

      Reply
  • mackenzieglanville September 24, 2016 at 12:18 pm

    Couldn’t agree with you more here! It took me a long time to learn it, but now I live by it! #mg

    Reply
    • The Tale of Mummyhood September 25, 2016 at 7:23 am

      That’s really good, a break makes such a difference! X

      Reply
  • Beth Owen September 24, 2016 at 2:16 pm

    Happy Parents make happy children DEFO! Totally agree. Loved this post.
    #MarvMondays

    Reply
    • The Tale of Mummyhood September 25, 2016 at 7:23 am

      Thanks for stopping by x

      Reply
  • Kaye September 24, 2016 at 5:02 pm

    This is too true and something I didn’t realise with my first. I didn’t have a break for so long and I realised I desperately needed it when it did happen. Now I realise a happier Mummy makes a better parent! Thanks for linking up to #MarvMondays. Kaye xo

    Reply
    • The Tale of Mummyhood September 25, 2016 at 7:24 am

      I am often the same, I’m always so ready when I get a break! Thanks for stopping by x

      Reply
  • The Mum Project September 26, 2016 at 6:10 am

    Yes yes yes. We all need a break and should not feel guilty for this EVER. What’s that Italian saying out of Eat, Pray, Love….”Dolce Far Niente….the sweetness of doing nothing.” We have to learn to just relax and say I Deserve This. : ) Very lovely post, I can imagine how the routine can get very monotonous very fast, but we can’t deviate from the routine or else there will be some sort of explosion! ; ) I know how you feel. Thanks for being so honest and sharing with #StayClassyMama!

    Reply
    • The Tale of Mummyhood September 26, 2016 at 11:26 am

      Ah thankyou for such a lovely comment! I’m loving that saying x

      Reply
  • crummymummy1 September 26, 2016 at 2:14 pm

    I’ve got an allotment I flee to for child free time – I don’t feel guilty about it at all!! #bestandworst

    Reply
    • The Tale of Mummyhood September 26, 2016 at 2:57 pm

      Sounds perfect! Thanks for stopping by x

      Reply
  • Upside Mum September 26, 2016 at 8:06 pm

    Completely agree. A break is so important to recharge and be fit to fight another day! #mg

    Reply
    • The Tale of Mummyhood September 27, 2016 at 10:59 am

      So true! x

      Reply
  • Emily Beckloff October 6, 2016 at 8:03 pm

    I totally agree with you on this one – time out to do other things and ‘let go’ is SO important. xxx

    Reply
    • The Tale of Mummyhood October 7, 2016 at 9:49 am

      Thankyou! X

      Reply

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