Judgement

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We live in a world where people are too quick to judge.  As individuals, we work hard to make ourselves and our families happy.  We make decisions that will hopefully be a benefit to us.  Decisions that we feel are right and decisions that we have often turned over in our minds for a very long time before acting on them.

So why do people feel like it’s ok to judge?  Why do people feel they have the right to an input?

Having children makes the whole decision process ten times harder.  We don’t just have ourselves and/or our partners to think about.  We have little people who rely on us entirely, we are responsible for their being.  They are the centre of every decision that we make, big or small.

Going back to work is absolutely the right decision for our family.  An unhappy mum does not make for a happy family, changes had to be made.  I’m starting off working one day a week and who knows, if I like it I may increase them.

When I go back my children will be in the care of my husband, their dad.  As we have two under two nursery costs would be through the roof, so this is the best situation for us and one that I think will benefit both my husband and our children.

What frustrates me most is feeling that I have to justify my decision and surrounding pressures mean I’ve spent months feeling guilty about wanting to go back.  These days there is no ideal, we live in a modern world where it’s ok for a woman to want to work.  It’s ok for her to be independent and be someone outside of her own four walls, being chained to the kitchen sink is a notion that belongs in the dark ages.

Even though there’s no longer an ideal, people still feel they have the right to judge.  One situation does not take precedence over another.  Some may work full-time and some may not work at all.  Remind me again what it has to do with anyone else?  I mean don’t get me wrong we all have an opinion, but that doesn’t mean we have to voice it.  Believe me, when someone is excited about a decision they have made, they don’t want to hear your put downs.  They don’t want to deal with your attitude and they certainly don’t want to feel judged.

So instead of making someone else’s life a little less brighter today, I put it to you to think about what you are saying.  To take into consideration the feelings of the other person, try to understand things from their point of view.  There are so many ways to do things, one single way is not going to suit everyone.

Smile and offer kind words.  Be self-aware enough to recognise how your actions affect others.  Be nice, it’s catching.

Mummascribbles
3 Little Buttons

 

 

 

 

 

28 Comments

  • pamsbakeandbabyblog March 7, 2017 at 8:41 am

    Completely agree! Hope you find the right balance for you xxx

    Reply
    • The Tale of Mummyhood March 7, 2017 at 8:42 am

      Thankyou! Xx

      Reply
  • Busy Working Mummy March 7, 2017 at 8:51 am

    I’ve written a very similar post recently as someone my hubby works with called himself lucky due to the fact his wife is a stay at home wife/mum and I work full time so hubby helps with cooking and cleaning. People are so quick to be judgmental and don’t appreciate that everyone’s circumstances are different #twinklytuesday

    Reply
    • The Tale of Mummyhood March 8, 2017 at 11:18 am

      They really are, we all have to do what is right for us! Thankyou xx

      Reply
  • familylifeandme March 7, 2017 at 2:19 pm

    I completely agree! It’s about finding the right balance and doing what works for you and your family. Stuff what everyone else thinks. Working mums (both full and part time) get a lot of unnecessary judgement. I always point out that it shows your child a good work ethic and that you need to work in order to get lovely things etc. I think working parents are good role models for children. I may get blasted for saying something so bold but hey ho! #TwinklyTuesday

    Reply
    • The Tale of Mummyhood March 8, 2017 at 11:14 am

      You are so right, thankyou! xx

      Reply
  • susieweaver March 7, 2017 at 3:00 pm

    Here here! Whatever we each decide, it is what is right for us and our family and is nothing to do with anybody else. Different things are right for different people and we have no idea what is behind people’s decisions. I hope you are proud of yourself going back to work and I wish you every success and happiness. #dreamteam

    Reply
    • The Tale of Mummyhood March 8, 2017 at 11:12 am

      So true, thankyou! xx

      Reply
  • Mrs Lighty March 7, 2017 at 9:53 pm

    Just stopping by from #DreamTeam as I’ve been thinking a lot about judgement recently too. In fact the last few posts on my blog all seem to be about judgement, whoops!! I completely agree with you, how your family works is now one’s business but your own. I hope the return to work goes well! 🙂

    Reply
    • The Tale of Mummyhood March 8, 2017 at 11:11 am

      Thankyou, some people really do like to stick the oar in don’t they! xx

      Reply
  • franbackwithabump March 8, 2017 at 7:15 am

    You don’t need to justify yourself to anyone. Ots your life and about what works for you and yuor family. Xx #bestandworst

    Reply
    • The Tale of Mummyhood March 8, 2017 at 11:10 am

      So true, thankyou xx

      Reply
  • Lisa Robb March 8, 2017 at 7:46 am

    Feel your pain. I was the same both times I went back to work. I just ended up not caring what other people though! Children are a part of you not all of you. There will come a time when they wont be dependant on you, what do you do then when you have lost yourself in them? no, you need to have your own life too!
    Lx
    http://workingmumy.blogspot.com
    #BloggerClubUK

    Reply
    • The Tale of Mummyhood March 8, 2017 at 11:09 am

      I love this comment! Thankyou xx

      Reply
  • Nicole March 8, 2017 at 12:35 pm

    I love this post. Well done you! I completely agree… Happy Mummy makes a Happy Family and we need to think about ourselves as well! The MomGuilt will never ever leave us, but as long as YOU know what you’re doing is for the best, nothing else matters!
    #BloggerClubUK

    Reply
    • The Tale of Mummyhood March 9, 2017 at 6:47 am

      Thankyou! X

      Reply
  • Kim Carberry March 8, 2017 at 5:04 pm

    In the world we live in today you can’t do right for doing wrong….I don’t work and stay home and I am judged….If I went out to work I know others would judge me. We can’t win!
    Good luck when you return to work!
    #bestandworst

    Reply
    • The Tale of Mummyhood March 9, 2017 at 6:48 am

      Thankyou! X

      Reply
  • Sarah Howe March 8, 2017 at 9:27 pm

    It has to be right for you so you can survive and all be happy! I hate the judgement too. It makes you question everything but ultimately you know what is best! Good luck to you and thanks for sharing with #bestandworst x

    Reply
    • The Tale of Mummyhood March 9, 2017 at 6:50 am

      Thankyou! Xx

      Reply
  • Madeline (This Glorious Life) March 9, 2017 at 11:03 am

    I honestly don’t understand why people feel the need to comment negatively on other people’s decisions! Surely they want you to be happy?! Sounds to me like you’re making the best decision for you and your family, and you shouldn’t have to justify that to anyone! x #BloggerClubUK

    Reply
    • The Tale of Mummyhood March 10, 2017 at 2:35 pm

      Thankyou! X

      Reply
  • mummascribbles March 10, 2017 at 9:41 pm

    Some people do like to give their 2 pence worth don’t they. We all do what is right for us – just try to ignore the stupid remarks! Thanks for linking up with #TwinklyTuesday

    Reply
    • The Tale of Mummyhood March 12, 2017 at 2:52 pm

      So true, thankyou! x

      Reply
  • bridiebythesea March 13, 2017 at 10:37 pm

    Oh this makes me so angry too – in fact I wrote a little piece ranting and raving too! It just baffles me that people think it’s ok to just word vomit their judgements onto parents, and worst of all 99.9% of the time we never ask for the advice in the first place! Thanks for linking to #dreamteam xx

    Reply
    • The Tale of Mummyhood March 14, 2017 at 9:41 am

      It’s so infuriating! Like you say I never even asked for opinions on what I should do anyway! Thankyou! xx

      Reply
  • pamsbakeandbabyblog March 22, 2017 at 5:59 am

    All too common to hear people have negative opinions on the way we choose to go forward after having children, wether it be staying at home or going back to work people are to quick to criticise! We are all doing whats right for our family so everyone should try and be a little kinder. Great post. Im back full time after my second and finding it much harder but its what i want to do. Xx

    Reply
    • The Tale of Mummyhood March 22, 2017 at 7:20 pm

      They really should! Thanks so much for a lovely comment xx

      Reply

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