Have them close together they said. You’ll be ‘done and dusted’ they said. They’ll grow up really close they said.
Here’s what I say:
• We chose to try for another baby when our first born was in the midst of Colic. This decision is totally unfathomable to me now, but I did learn a lot. This time I could be the Master of Colic (avoiding the 4am GP visit with a motion settled, fast asleep and thankfully healthy baby is always preferable!)
• Having ‘In the Night Garden’ on series link (thanks Mum) taking up more than 50% of your memory is not cool. I’m 25 (and I’m actually quite amused by Iggle Piggle, oops!) Deleting episodes is banned however, with two children under one I’m going to need that big blue babysitter more than ever!
• Poo. Everyone’s experienced this one.
‘Has she been?’
‘What colour is it?’
‘Is it runny?’
‘Hmm, that smells a bit different.’
‘What? She hasn’t been? There must be something wrong.’
Cue baby massage right there! I’m not ashamed to say though, once the baby has been for the day, an air of peace descends over me, we are winning! Second time around I’ll be an expert in the field.
• Hormones! Fucking hormones! One minute I’m normal, one minute I’m crying, the next all is well with the world, then it’s turned upside down! If at any point anyone asks my Husband about this don’t listen to him. I don’t have mood swings; he doesn’t know what he’s talking about!
• Why does having children make you mix up names? It must be the baby brain! This morning, I asked the baby not to touch the bin five times and it still ended up all over the floor. It wasn’t until after the clean-up operation I realised I’d been telling the dog to stay away from the bin, not the baby. Parenting fail! If it had been the dog though the outcome would have been the same – he doesn’t listen either. I’m sure baby number two will only confuse my brain more. I think I’ll just move the bin!
• I’ve had a puppy that didn’t sleep for two weeks straight, how much harder can a baby be? These were my pre-baby thoughts and I’m shaking my head at my own naivety! We crate trained our Border Collie Joe from seven weeks. For two weeks we were in hell. He whined, scratched and barked ALL NIGHT, and we thought we were cream crackered! That tiredness was nothing compared to what we felt having a newborn. With a puppy you can neck a glass of wine and put in some ear plugs. With a baby not so much, I think that’s frowned upon? Our little munchkin does have more good nights than bad ones now though, just in time for baby number two!
Babies, dogs and pregnancy combined can make me feel like I’m going crazy from time to time. I’m guilty of looking forward to bedtime more often than I probably should. However, even on the toughest of parenting days, chaos is better than none at all. Maybe I’m not doing such a bad job, bring on the newborn!